Word reached me today that someone couldn't make sense of why the anniversary of Eli's death hits me so hard. Her reasoning? He wasn't, in her words, a "real baby" or anything like that.
I honestly don't know what to say to that, so instead I'll just share a photo of my son — the boy who was apparently not real because he never had the chance to smile at us, laugh, or crawl. You'd expect parents to be the most tender about this, but in my experience they're often the quickest to get defensive. Because if they let themselves admit my son was healthy and real and still died, then nothing feels safe anymore.
5 comments:
Found you from MckMama's blog; thought I'd look around a little. Read this post and just had to say.. Your very real baby is beautiful. What a beautiful baby. I am sorry for your loss; may God continue to heal your hearts.
Blessings,
Jess
I also just found your blog through MckMama. How cruel can anyone be? Your son is so beautiful and so real. God bless you each day as you relive his presence in your life. Your family is beautiful!
I also just found you from MckMama’s blog. I figured I’d start from the beginning of your blog and get to know your family a little better. After reading this post I think my jaw just hit the floor. I can’t believe anyone would say something like that. Your adorable son is very real regardless how long or short his life on earth was. You have one amazing guardian angel watching over you and your family. Eli looks precious and I am so sorry for your loss. God bless you and your family.
Jessica Huseby
Fargo, ND
Found you through Mckmamma. I also have an Eli and very loud and loving almost 9 year old. I just wanted to send some love your way. You son was and is very much a real baby. A very beautiful real baby.
El ~ found your blog through a friends. I chose to read about your son Eli because my firstborn, Allen Michael, was born stillborn at almost 37 weeks. He would have been 3 this past November. I read this post and I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I have had similar experiences and often worry (which is ridiculous) that people will think that about Allen Michael when I talk about him. And I do, talk about him, all the time. My friends have heard the same stories so often - recollections of his white blonde hair & eyelashes, how God used a song from Selah right before I had to push to give me his incredible peace & strength, how I wish I would have looked at every part of him at least once more. Here is the link to the post on my blog on what would have been his 3rd birthday. http://threeheartscreated.blogspot.com/2008/11/three-years-ago.html
Take a look - he was very real, very beautiful. Just like your Eli. I'm glad that our babies are in Heaven together.
In Christ Alone ~ Natalie Eve
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