Bits and Pieces

Did you know that Sonic's Strawberry Limeade is by far superior to their Cherry Limeade? My cousin, Jordan, and I had a little taste test yesterday and the Strawberry Limeade won, hands down. Bummed me out, because I backed the cherry limeade and was proven so, so wrong. I'm a convert...I will be getting the strawberry from now on!

__________________

I've really enjoyed the past week as I've spent a ton of quality time with my cousins, Logan and Jordan (some of you may remember when they visited us for Spring Break this year). They are Seth's godmothers, and he finally recognizes them when he sees them and gets very excited. It's so sweet to see! They are also Eli's godparents, although he is obviously not in need of godparents to help teach him how to live a Godly life, as he could probably teach us all a thing or two! Strangely enough, the night before Eli was born, my cousins were in town for their high school's spring break, and I asked them if they would do us the honor of being his godmothers. They said yes and got really excited. It was the next day that he died. Logan and Jordan were just 15 and 17...young to be godparents. Young to lose their godson. So when Seth was born, we knew without a doubt that they should get a second shot at godparenting, and they have done an awesome job. I know Seth will be incredibly blessed to have these to centered, Godly women helping to guide him. Not to mention they are like sisters to me and I love them very much. It's been so nice to be with them all the time like we were when we were little. 

______________________

I was looking through some pictures I took of Seth in the PICU the other day, and it hit me...he's going to be 1 in July! I couldn't believe it, until I saw these pictures, and realized that he has been turning into a little boy before my eyes. 

________________________________________

Seth is doing better today, although he is still not 100%. We are planning to stay here through next week as long as he remains stable. We have access to the great Pulmonologist who treated Seth in the hospital if we need him, and we're in great hands here...and of course, we're in the greatest Hands of all. God has brought Seth through a lot of things, and I am so thankful for that...but I am ready for Seth to have a little break from proving how great God is! Quiet...boring...low key...those are the words I am whispering under my breath these days. 

_____________________________

Man, it is cold up north! We went to the grocery tonight and I had to grab a sweater before I could leave. My blood is thin and I am a pansy! Of course, I did suit up in a sweater just to go to get ice cream, so I'm a little bit of a dork, too. What can I say? I needed a chocolate marshmallow sundae. I just never knew how hard it was going to be for us to find the marshmallow fluff. For some reason, it never crossed my mind that it would be with the marshmallows. Silly me. 

We're home! Sort of.

Thank you all so much for the prayers, and a big thanks to Mandy , who was kind enough to call and check on Seth and to update the blog for us. The hospital Seth was in had no internet access. We are now back at home, or rather, our home away from home, at my aunt and uncle's house in Indiana. Seth is still not 100%, but is breathing, so we're thrilled!

As Mandy told you all, Seth stopped breathing on Thursday night about midnight. When I picked him up out of bed, he was startled and took a breath, but was really retracting deeply and struggling to breathe. We headed for the emergency room and after two racemic  epinephrine treatments, they sent him home, against my better judgement. Within three hours, we were back, Seth was worse than ever, and he received a third treatment, a series of x rays, a shot of Decadron, and an ambulance ride to the Children's Hospital here in town. When I walked into the ER the second time, they literally pulled him out of my arms and started working on him. He was in bad shape.

Luckily (if I believed in luck), the steroids he received helped a lot, and after a day in the PICU, he headed for the stepdown unit and a night bonding with me and the friends and family who streamed through the door to visit him. While in the beginning the ER docs thought it was croup, the Pulmonologist we saw felt it was more likely a complication from his lengthy intubation at birth, and that some irritation or scar tissue in his trachea is putting him at a higher risk for upper airway restriction when he has an otherwise harmless illness, like a cold. He was incredibly helpful and got Seth feeling well as possible, considering the situation. On the x-rays, we saw that his trachea had what is called a steeple effect, where it is open at the bottom and narrows as it rises, and is very close to closed at the top.

We are treating Seth at home now, and when we return to Florida, he'll see a Pulmonologist there who will do more in depth testing of Seth's airway.

Seth is exhausted just from breathing the past couple of days, and we have been laying around here all evening cuddling him and the other kids. I can't tell you how scary it was making the 30 minute drive to the hospital with a baby who was struggling to breathe, and doing it twice almost killed me! I am realizing all over again how blessed we all are by this little boy. Of course, I also feel like it's always something, and I am ready for some boring, uneventful weeks.

I can't thank you all enough for the prayers, emails, and phone calls and visits. You've all helped pray Seth right through some huge things, and we appreciate you so much!

Seth's status

Hi everyone,

This is Ellyn's friend, Mandy, updating for her since she doesn't have internet access at the hospital. You may have seen her tweets about Seth last night and this morning (that's all she can update there so follow her for updates), but if you haven't, here's a little update.

Seth has had a small cold for a little while, but last night, his breathing was becoming progressively worse, to the point where he couldn't breathe at all and he turned completely blue. They took him by ambulance to the local Children's Hospital.

They thought the breathing trouble was croup at first, but it seems that it may be complications from having to be intubated for so long when he was a newborn. Evidently, the scar tissue left from all the intubation is causing lots of problems for him.

Seth was in the PICU all night, and today he was moved to the pediatric floor and is being given breathing treatments and steroids.

Please pray for Seth and the McCall family today and tonight. They are still in Indiana, it's stressful to be both away from home and going through something this scary at the same time.

Specific prayers needed:

• That his oxygen levels stay up. Usually these drop when he sleeps, and they need to stay up for him to be able to breathe and heal.

• That he gets through the night okay. Everything gets worse at night.

• That he just feels better in general - he's obviously feeling really terrible and the more agitated he gets, the worse his breathing gets. Pray for rest and healing for his little body.

• For Ellyn and the rest of the McCall family. It is never easy to be in the hospital with your little one, and they have had their fair share of hospital stays. Pray for her peace, strength, and rest.

Thank you for your love and prayers for this sweet family and this sweet boy. She can get your e-mail on her phone, so send some love her way.

Fun at the park

Cute.

Courageous.

Cowboy. 

We are soaking up the sun and the mild weather here in Indiana and having a great time! Wish you all were here!

We Made It!

After a long second day, we arrived at my aunt's golf course in Fort Wayne around 6 pm. THe kids immediately insisted on golf cart rides. The weather is beautiful! Then we headed up to the house we'll be imposing on, I mean, staying in, for the next couple of weeks, my Aunt Kelly's. We unpacked and pumped up inflatable beds and the kids put on shows for us. They finally got to bed way too late and Seth followed shortly after, after he mastered saying the word "ball" for us, which was awesome! A very fun evening.

We are settling in and Ava is recovering from her bed suddenly deflating in the night. She woke up crying, saying "I can't find my bed!" and freaking out. We're heading to church in a bit this morning, and the kids are super excited. I have to keep this short, as I am "borrowing"  an internet connection from a neighbor.

I have had a few blog readers email and say they lived relatively close and wanted to try to meet up to meet Seth. If you're within a reasonable driving distance from Ft. Wayne and would like to get together, let me know, so I can see if it would make more sense to plan an official meet up sometime in the next couple of weeks. I'd love to meet some of you!

Seth is apparently starving to death, so I'll leave you with a picture  from our rest area photo shoot yesterday. I just couldn't resist the soft grass!

Chattanooga!

Man, is Chattanooga a fun word to say, or what? We just got settled into our very nice and fancy hotel that cost us exactly $43 dollars. (Thanks, Priceline!)

It has been....both a a very long and very short day. We are at exactly the halfway point, and usually we make the drive straight through, but we thought we would take a more leisurely pace this time and stay overnight before we head for our final destination, my hometown of Fort Wayne, IN.

We took our leave this morning from a relatively sad husband and father. I know he will miss us, but I think he is excited to get some uninterrupted sleep time. Then we left, and realized we'd forgotten to bring our toothbrushes, so we had to backtrack. Then, we finally picked up my mom and we were on our way!

The morning passed quickly and we lunched at the Cracker Barrel, where the kids made a huge mess and Seth ate all of his food and then resorted to trying to eat containers of butter. We got sucked into the Old Country Store and found ourselves an hour and a half behind schedule. The idea was to take our time, but apparently when we tried to put that plan into action, it stressed both my mom and I out. But mostly my mom. She spent the rest of the afternoon trying to make up lost minutes on the GPS. We were doing great until.we hit Atlanta. Atlanta sucked up all of our gained minutes. Atlanta is mean like that.

While in Atlanta gridlock, all the children decided that it was time to freak out and scream. Jace asked to go home. Ava tried to eat an entire box of granola box. Seth, who had been a great traveler all day, decided he was done and started wailing loudly. I thought it was the end of us.

But we made it, somehow, to Chattanooga, and the insanely fluffy bed I am writing this post from is doing wonders for my attitude. Seth is laying next to me and patting my leg, saying "BaBa! BabaBA, Mama!" very emphatically. The kids are playing hide and seek, which is interesting since our hotel is basically a box. A very nice box, but a box, nonetheless. Not a lot of places to hide. We're awaiting our pizza, from Domino's. Did you know that you can watch your pizza being prepared in real time? Trevor prepped my order at 8:42, and Andrew just left the store with my order at 8:53. I think that is kind of awesome.

All in all, a good day for a road trip. Fingers crossed for tomorrow, and that my mom can sleep tonight with the two wiggly preschoolers who are insisting on sleeping in her bed with her.

Hitting the Road

The kids finished their school year up today. We attended Ava's Pre-K graduation, and she received an award for her boundless imagination; the continuous creativity award. That's definitely Ava!

Seth had a wonderful mapping yesterday and a great speech therapy session today...he's doing so well I cannot even put it into words...but he can! He gave us very passable versions of the words "Hop, Hop" (op, op) "Quack, Quack" (ack, ack), "Bam! Bam!" (Bam!), and, of course, a perfectly articulated version of his old standby, "Mama." His therapist almost passed out, really. She was floored.

Because school's out and Seth is doing so great, we want to celebrate! The kids and I, along with my mom, have decided to take a road trip up to Indiana, where our extended family lives (and where I grew up and went to elementary, middle, high school, and college). None of our family has been able to see Seth since he got his ears, and I want to show him off, and spend some time relaxing, so we're up and leaving tomorrow and plan to hang for a few weeks. There is a certain hammock I love that is calling my name.

We're going to take our time driving and are staying in Chattanooga, TN tomorrow night, where we just might hitch a ride on the Chattanooga Choo Choo. I'm excited!

So if you live in Indiana or nearby, get in touch! Especially if you know me in real life, but if you don't, that's ok too. =)

Seth & Summer

Last night we spent some time with good friends of ours who have a daughter who is deaf. Summer is just a few months younger than Seth and her parents have been a never ending well of support for us and we have navigated our journey, and I hope we have been able to help them along theirs, as well. 

Finally, the babies are old enough to play together instead of just staring off into space, so we got some pictures of them while we chatted. So here you go...date yourself (and me!) and tell me what pop culture reference makes me think these two are so darn cute together. There will be a prize in it for someone!

(If more than one person gets it, I'll choose randomly, unless something about your comment is just so awesome I just have to choose you.) 

Do you need a hint? Remember, I have an unhealthy love for teenage dramas. 

Dear Seth- 10 months

Dear Seth,

Today, you are ten months old. I like ten...it's a nice round number. It's also very close to 22, which, I'm not sure if you've realized, means you'll be A WHOLE YEAR OLD SOON! That completely blows me away.

This month, I wanted to tell you the ways that you impress me. As you know, you got off to a pretty rough start. Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Persistent Pulmonary Hypertention, a PDA and two PFO's in your heart. a collapsed lung,a chest tube, insanely high bilirubin levels...it was not fun. Then, of course, the icing that got slapped onto your cake as we headed out the door...deafness!

It was overwhelming, to say the least. But I can tell you truthfully I never spent a single second wondering why me, why you...because from the moment I saw you, I was so impressed with you, just for making it out alive. It's not the easiest thing ever, you know. We soldiered on. Hearing aids, speech therapy, and as you began to lag behind on your physical milestones, physical therapy. We had some kind of therapy 4-5 times a week. You were confusing. Sometimes you could hear. Most of the time, you couldn't. The only fix...cochlear implants. But most insurance companies won't approve until 12 months. Then, a huge blessing...insurance approval for cochlear implants! And the money to pay for them!

Handing you off the the anesthesiologist that morning may have been one of the hardest things I've ever done, surpassed only by the day I had to hand your brother over to the nurse as she wheeled him away from me for the last time. Part of me was reasonably sure that something would go terribly wrong.

But you were a champ, and your surgeon said that surgery literally could not have gone better. Recovery was hard, but you bounced back and the day you were activated was one of the most amazing days of my life. Seeing your eyes snap to mine and you start laughing was so beautiful. Every day since has been a joy, seeing you react and learn every second.

It's been a crazy 10 months. Frustrating. I can't tell you how many times I wished you were "just deaf" like most deaf babies...the whole auditory neuropathy thing drove me insane. I remember sitting with your audiologist, saying, completely seriously "I hate AN! Why can't he just be deaf?"

I take it all back. We had a speech and language evaluation the other day, just one week after your CI activation. For all intents and purposes (taking actual age and your adjusted age of 8 1/2 months into account)...

You are AGE APPROPRIATE for speech and language! Thanks to your therapy, and your hearing aids, and your Auditory Neuropathy, and your early CI implantation, you have no language gap to speak of. Well, thanks to them, but mostly thanks to God, of course. It's a huge blessing, something that takes a huge amount of weight off of my shoulders. I don't have to worry about getting you up to date...I just need to keep you there. I love the comments we've been getting from our therapist and audiologists. One called you a poster child for CI's. Another called you a superstar.

But what you are to me, my bouncing, 10 month old boy, is a miracle. My very own cuddly, loving miracle.

I love you, Bubby.

Mama

Boys, Boys, Boys

You will all be happy to know that I am writing this post from a sufficiently air conditioned home. A much nicer A/C guy showed up this morning and snappily fixed the problem, and it has been smooth sailing ever since. Ahh, cool air! A quiet house! 


This morning all three kids and I headed out to a birthday party in the park for a friend of mine's son, Daniel. Another friend of ours was there with her son, Noah. Lots of others were there too, but the boys' stood out to me because their mom's and I were all due just a few days apart when I was pregnant with Eli. I am still convinced that Daniel was so overdue because my friend was bound and determined to make it to Eli's memorial, which we held on May 5th of 2007. I don't know what she did to keep that baby in, but it sure was effective! 


Anyway, I felt good going to the party, was happy to see everyone, but I was definitely drawn to watching Daniel and Noah. These were supposed to be Eli's contemporaries...his allies, cronies, what have you. I went through my entire pregnancy with Eli spending each and every Thursday night with those boys' moms, talking pregnancy nonstop like a crazy person. 


When I saw Noah today, I was struck by how much his hair had darkened since the last time I saw him. Daniel surprised me when he pointed across the playground at Jace and clearly yelled "Jacie!" (Our nickname  for Jace). I forgot kids get older, learn new things! I mean, I know it...but I forgot. I forgot that Eli could be calling Jace's name in glee. I forgot that he would be slimming down, losing babyfat, growing legs. My baby would be turning into a little boy. 


In any case, it was an interesting day. I was able to hold conversations and laugh, ask questions and respond appropriately, even as the internal monologue of what might have been was coursing through my veins, as ever fiber of my being, every drop of blood in my veins, cried out for my son. So it's getting better, in a sense. I am able to carry on, and keep it to myself when I want to, when it would be embarrassing to let it affect me too much. I am able to be happy for other 2 year old little boys without being (too) jealous of their mothers. But it doesn't change how much I miss him. 


After the party, my Mom offered to take Ava for the night so they could spend some time together, and so it's been just the boys and me. We've had a great afternoon...we sat on the floor, all three of us together, and played peekaboo for approximately 3 hours. Seth and Jace were literally collapsing as they belly laughed their hearts out, and I realized for the first time that they have the exact same laugh. Seth just loves his big brother, and Jace was getting so into entertaining Seth that he got so excited he could no longer contain himself and belted out this amazing loud sound that was part peal of laughter and part maniacal scream. He was about 3 inches away from Seth, and Seth froze and stared at Jace. Then he turned to look at me with his eyebrows raised very high and reached up very deliberately and pulled his headpieces off. Apparently, Jace is too loud even for Seth!


Now, the boys are tucked into bed. After I put Seth down, Jace requested a spot next to me in the overstuffed chair that I've staked my claim on. He sat quietly next to me as I worked on some pictures and emails, and then he patted my knee softly and said "Mama? I really like you. In fact, I love you a whole lot." 


It's funny...I never thought I would have boys. The vast majority of our family is comprised of girls, who grow up, marry, and have more girls. It surprises me daily that I have been blessed with one gorgeous girl and three beautiful boys. I never thought I would be dealing with the snakes and snails and puppy dog tails of the boy world, the boundless energy, sensitive nature, and ego that seem to be battling at all times in a growing boy. 


It's been a good day. I miss all three of my baby boys, and can't wait until tomorrow morning when I can love on two of them. 

He'll talk your ear off!

I know I've been posting less often in the past couple of days, but I have to tell you...I have been busy helping Seth soak up language! He is so into EVERYTHING now...he is interested in every little thing and just taking it all in. It's so much fun!

Because I know how much you've all been pulling for him, I wanted to let you guys in on some things that I'm really excited about! Seth went to the audiologist for mapping yesterday and they put him in the sound booth.

So that you can all visualize this, here is an illustration of an audigram. An audigram is a person's graphical representation of their sensitivity to sound. On the left you'll see the hearing levels in decibels (loud is at the botton, quiet is at the top, so kind of backwards), or loudness of the sound, and on the top you'll see the frequncy of the sound. 

For instance, leaves rustling is about 10 decibels. (Very quiet). A dog barking clocks in at about 60-70 decibels. The gray banana shape on the audiogram is called the speech banana (no, I did not make that up), and within that shaded area, between 20-50 decibels, depending on frequency, is where all the speech sounds fall. To realistically be able to learn to speak, you must be able to hear sounds that fall within the speech banana. 

So are you ready for this? Before Seth's implantation, he booth tested between 70-110 decibels. (Meaning those are the level of sounds he consistently responded to).  He could hear jets, lawn mowers, etc. With his hearind aids on, he responded to sounds around the 60-70 decibel range...better, but still not in that speech banana he needed to be in to learn to speak. 

Yesterday, after adjusting his CI programs, Seth headed on into the booth (well, I went with him, as well). And he was localizing (correctly finding) sounds at....

30 decibels!

He's right in the speech banana and hearing great! It's so exciting. There's still a lot more work to do, but for one week past activation I am thrilled with his progress. After they adjusted his Map yesterday, he started babbling like crazy! 

So, I'm done with all the technical stuff...if you got this far, here is your reward...video of Seth jabbering at me! I apologize for the iffy quality...he was very wiggly tonight. He takes a minute to get warmed up, so persevere! =)

He eats!

We have a full day ahead of us with mapping (that's programming Seth's implants) and homeschooling. But I wanted to post this morning to tell you all...

Seth ate a whole bowl of applesauce last night! WITH A SPOON!

If you've been reading for long, you'll know what a victory that was...Seth has never deigned to eat wet or pureed food, and he has always REFUSED to eat from a spoon.

Go Seth!

Mom's Collage

I couldn't post these yesterday, because I was afraid my mom would read before we had a chance to give her her gifts. But here are some photos from a collage we made for my mom for mother's day. She's the best! I'm an only child, so my mom and I are insanely close, and I love her more than I can say. These are from a hangout session she had with Seth the other day.

Happy Mother's Day!

I was awakened this morning by a four (and a half! don't forget the half!) year old girl tiptoeing into my room and whispering to her Daddy that it was TIME! Seth was sleeping soundly next to me after he early morning feeding, and I could hear the patter of Jace's bare feet on the hardwood floors in the living room, heading my way.

Within moments, the unveiling was beginning. As she does every year, she flashed a card in my face, showed me that she and Jace and written on it, then pulled it away and handed me a gift. "Open it! It's a statue! A statue of an angel and a baby and it's for Eli!" Now open this one! It's an angel holding a heart and it's from me! Now open this one!"

Usually, all the presents are opened before her brother is even in the room, and this morning, Ava sat on the foot of my bed, clasping her hands on the High School Musical 3 soundtrack that "I" had received for Mother's Day. She loves holidays. She can't stand surprises, so I've known since roughly last Mother's Day that the plan was to get me Willow Tree figurines again this year. (I get them from Ava f or just about every holiday, actually. She's a planner).  She looked at me, still laying in bed, and said "So what else do you want to do today, Mommy? We can go to the zoo, or the aquarium, or Busch Gardens..."

I stopped her. "Ava, honey, do you think that those are things I would like to do or that you would like to do?"

She sat for a moment. "Well, maybe they could be things that we both want to do."

We didn't go to the zoo, or the aquarium, or Busch Gardens, but we did go to church and out to lunch with my mom and grandmother. The kids were kids, Seth threw everything on the floor approximately 87 times, and Jace crawled under a booth.

Now we're curled up on the couch watching Veggietales The Pirates who don't do Anything, and I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing. Jace is curled in a ball, Ava is sprawled out, and Seth is on my lap doing his best to make sure I can't type a single word correctly, laughing every time I yell at him.

What a blessing these children are. What a blessing children are, period. Even though it's Mother's Day, don't forget to give the ones' who made you a mother a little extra love today, too. It would be a lonely world without them.

Bicycle Built for Two

My mom (the kids call her Uma) taught Seth the sound a bicycle bell makes the other day. This is why I love Auditory Verbal Therapy. It's all about learning to listen, and you can make a teachable moment out of anything! Family is really the biggest teacher, as the AVT professional teaches different ways to fit learning to listen into every day life. It's really natural. 

Seth saw my mom's bike, and wanted to check it out. She took that moment to show him that her bike had a bell, and that the bell made a sound. 

She dinged the bell a few times, and talked about the kind of sound the bell made, and before we knew it, Seth was reaching out to ring the bell himself, then looking very proud of himself after he heard it ring.

So then, he proceeded to do it again. And again. And again. And so on, as I'm sure you can imagine. But it's so important for him to learn about cause and effect, that he made that sound and can remake it...I love seeing his brain work.

I can't think of a better Mother's Day gift! 

3/28

You know how when you're talking to someone and you suddenly realize you share a birthday? That feeling of comaraderie that somehow springs up, even if you don't know them? Wow, they've got the same birthday as me! That's got to make them awesome! 

After Eli was born, I wondered how I would feel if I met someone with his birthday. Jealous? Happy? I knew that it was difficult for me to be around babies that were around the age he should be. I knew, the older he got, the harder it seemed to see those little boys that were the age my son should be running around, see them learning to talk and walk and tell knock knock jokes. 

Then I heard from my friend Mandy, who not only had a baby who shared Eli's birthday, but had a baby who died on Eli's, and his own, birthday. Mandy and I became fast friends, bonding over that shared date of ours, the day the world as we knew it came crashing down. Mandy was yet another blessing that came out of what felt like pure hell to me. How funny, how small, is the internet blogging world, where you can run into someone who's baby died on the same day your baby died. Weird. Morbid. Comforting. Sad.

One of the reasons I never wanted to go to a support group after Eli died was because I didn't want to hear about those other babies who died. Not because I thought Eli was better or more special than them, but I wanted our family to be unique in our grief...I didn't want other families to have gone through what we were going through, the act of handing your baby back to God before you even got a chance to know them. It felt like if I admitted that it happened to other people, I would be admitting that babies just die, sometimes, and that is one of the most depressing thoughts ever. You don't want to think that babies just die, sometimes. You want to think that sometimes, God allows a baby to go to heaven early, to make a point for the greater good, or to set some butterfly wing effect in motion. I can understand, grasp one baby dying.  Knowing about all these other babies who die makes it seem to big, too horrifying to wrap your brain around. 

So you can imagine my surprise and shock when I was checking out my dear friend Julie's design blog (She's awesome, and rocks my socks, btw!), and came across a blog she did recently for someone else who had a baby who died. The design was pretty, and I clicked over to check it out, only to be completely shocked to see that her baby was born and died on 3/28, too. Her name is Carleigh. 

Eli 3.28.07-3.28.07

Connor 3.28.08-3.28.08

Carleigh  3.28.09-3.28.09

It's kind of a bit much. I look at Mandy, pregnant with Mia, due just when I was due with Seth, and I know just what she is feeling, just over a year out from her son's death, awaiting the birth of her rainbow baby. I read about Holly, just over a month out fromthe death of her son, and I know just what she is feeling, too. Will it ever get better? Will I ever feel like myself?

Yes...No. Yes...No. 

It gets better. Then you realize it's better and you feel bad all over again. You get back to yourself and realize you like the new self, the broken self, even better because at least that self knows there are more important things out there than the right school, fights with girlfriends, or whether your house is clean. The new self gets it. Gets that we never ever know how much time we have, that we are here only in passing, on our way to the real deal, heaven. 

Funny how even though both of these women and I are in the club of lost children, the worst membership ever, I can still find stabbing jealousy deep down. Mandy got to see Connor alive. I didn't get to see Eli alive. Holly knew her daughter was going to die, and was able to prepare, to do everything that felt right with Carleigh both before and after she was born so that she would have those memories. I was in so much shock with Eli that I'm lucky we did everything we did. Looking back, I would have done so much more. We were flying by the seat of our pants in the middle of a nightmare. It was hard to decide anything. 

What's done is done, though, and in the end, although it pains me to know that on each of Eli's birthdays, other babies were dying, other parents were beginning their long journey of grief, it does make me smile to think of Eli up there in heaven on his birthday, welcoming new friends, saying "What? Today's your birthday, too? You must be totally cool!"

Man oh Man!

What a day it has been! I put Seth's processors on him this morning, eliciting grins from him, and away we went! We went to speech therapy, where our therapist was very pleasantly surprised by Seth's progress less than 24 hours after his activation. Today, he:

Turned his head to voices, localizing correctly.

Responded to the sound of every toy that was presented to him. (our therapist or I makes the sound where Seth can't see it, then when he responds, we present the toy so he can tie them together).

Babbles B's,G's, and M's repeatedly, along with lots of vowel sound cooing.

"Took Turns" (as in coversation, we talk, then pause, and he takes his turn by vocalizing)

Repeatedly grinned enthusiastically when someone talked to him.

In case you couldn't tell, that is beyond awesome for one day after activation! I thought he was doing great, but it was really nice to have our therapist confirm that he was really responding. I can't tell you how surprised and amazed I am...it is relatively rare for kids to respond so well immediately, and it's an amazing blessing. Seth is astounding me with his progress already and I am so thrilled to be along for this ride! Seth's therapist today said "He's going to be a superstar!" and I have to say, I totally agree! I hope you'll all stick around to see him progress.

My best friend from high school is leaving tomorrow, and while I am very sad about that fact, Jace is even more sad. Kara is his godmother, and they are so close...when we picked him up from preschool today, his teacher brought him out, looked at Kara, and said "You're right Jace, she is great!" Apparently he was talking about her all day long. =) Aunt Kara and her husband need to move closer to us!!!

Activation Day!

As you can see, Seth was a happy camper as we headed into the audiologist's office for his activation. We started out with some housekeeping, going over the equipment, etc. He was a champ, just hanging out.

They ran some tests to make sure his auditory nerves were responding, kind of like an ABR (They were!). He thought that was swell.

Then it was time to turn on his ears. Lots of people had told us to expect Seth to cry or freak out. I have to say, I had the biggest feeling of peace today, and there's no way I could explain what happened as well as I can show you. In this case, a picture really is worth a thousand words. The next series of pictures are of Seth the first time I called his name.

Playing with the monkey as I call his name.

Wait a minute...do I hear something?

Yeah I do! It's my mom!

This hearing thing rocks!

It's with a full heart that I want to thank each and every person who prayed with us, donated to Seth, and walked with us in this journey. I can't even begin to tell you how blessed we are. Generally, it can take time for implanted kids to figure out that they're hearing, much less identify what they're hearing, but Seth was turning his head to sounds and has already started to babble again, this very afternoon! I can't even begin to tell you how blessed we feel. God has really been glorified through Seth's awesome journey, and seeing him laugh at his brother's voice today made everything that's ever happened worth it.

There were a lot of awesome moments today, but I think the video clip I'm including below sums it all up for me. God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good!

He who has ears, LET HIM HEAR! Matthew 11:15

Ready, Set, Go!

We've had a great couple of days of beaching it up, eating a ton of food, and catching up on movies and soap operas. I love having Kara here...we have been best friends for 12 years and know each other very well. I love the shorthand that comes with that. Plus, my kids are completely in LOVE with her, which is a great bonus!

Today it got very hot and we wanted to stay home and play Wii instead of sit in the heat, so we headed to Wal-Mart (tried Target, our first love, but they didn't have what we were looking for) and got a wading pool so that they could splash around in the shade while I found out that my Wii Fit age is 37! Argh!

They had a blast...hopefully John won't trip over the pool when he gets home tonight, as we ended up needing to put it right in front of the entryway. Good thing we don't live in a deed restricted community!

I am so excited for tomorrow that I can hardly stand it, and plenty nervous too. Seth has been in a great mood all day...I think he's looking forward to it! =)

I will be skipping Not Me Monday tomorrow, as I can't concentrate enough to write a post, but I am thrilled that MckMama is ready to get back in the saddle! I hope next week we'll be back too!

Here are a couple more pictures of Seth today...like I said, he was in a great mood!

Flashing a peace sign! Peace out y'all! We will be videoing tomorrow's appointment so you all can share in Seth's exciting day, and I'll try to twitter at the actual time of activation.

Countdown to Monday!

Have you noticed an overabundance of picture posts? My apologies. My bestest friend from high school is here from Indiana to spend some time with us and attend Seth's activation on Monday. We're super excited (The kids woke her up....way too early. Good thing she likes kids!)

I was thrilled to be able to introduce her to High School Musical last night...she now shares my love for Zac Efron! Yes!

In any case, here are some pictures from a recent photoshoot I had with Seth while hanging out in bed.= ) As you can see, he still has his dimples, which I love.  He's excited and ready to HEAR! His appointment is at 1pm on Monday, and I am very excited and anxious. =)

I hope everyone has a great weekend! I love when people come to visit Florida...it makes us actually get into all the touristy things in the area. We're off to do something somewhere!

A Blessed Day

As Ava's best friend, Ella just told me, we're having very blessed day getting to play together.

I couldn't agree more. Ranging in age from 9 months to 7 years, these six kids (Addy is not pictured) are very blessed indeed to be growing up with a mere18 feet between their houses. I love watching them together.