Thursday, February 5, 2009

My daughter, the teenager

Ava is 4 and a half years old. Most of the time, she's very sweet and loving. Not right now, of course...at the moment, I can hear her arguing with her brother from across the house, her voice permeated with an annoying edge of certainty that has to come from me.

The girl thinks she knows everything. It's unbelievable, really, how she can tell you with complete confidence that she has never before and will never eat avacado, when I know for certain that it was her first food and she loved it. She has this little head flip and "Mo-om!" intonation that can drive me crazy in ten seconds flat.

So maybe that's why our discipleship group last night flipped me right out. The upperclass girls were meeting with the 8th grade girls and we were discussing authority. Who has authority in our lives? Do we give authority to people that shouldn't have it? Do we avoid obeying those in our lives who should have authority over us?

It sparked interesting conversation. Two things that jumped out of the discussion right into my lap were these:
Almost every girl in the room thought her parents were lame, and many of them valued the opinion of their friends/boyfriends more than that of their parents.

Maybe I was like that when I was younger. I don't think I was, but I can't rule it out completely. But it scared me to death to think that my little girl, who I pour my life into every day in order to teach her about Faith and glorifying God, could, in just a few years, turn into a girl that has very little use for me.

I don't want her to think I'm lame! But I know a lot of parents of our girls, and their parents aren't lame! They're all pretty cool! I'm scared. It looks like, no matter what I do, I am going to be irrelevant in the eyes of my daughter at some point in her life. I mean, that's ok. It hurts my ego, and I want to be the cool mom, of course, but she's not in charge, and if I have to be "uncool" to teach her the correct values, to guide her faith, to teach her morals, I am ready to embrace that perceived lameness in the hopes that one day she'll realize the value of being her parent and not her friend.

It scares me to death. It's part of the reason I was so worried about having a girl. There's something about girls...they can just hurt you more. I love my boys to death and they are the apple of my eye, but they are boys, and while they have their challenges, I don't foresee this issue with them. Of course, I could be completely wrong and they could all think I'm boring, lame, and irrelevant at some point in time. Let's go for a three-fer!

Or...I know, I know...

Jesus, could you please come back here before my kids get to that age, while they still adore me? That would be great. I'm sure you already know this, but I think my time might be running out. Ava is 4 going on 14.

4 comments:

Les said...

Just keep developing that relationship... and teaching her God's Word!!
PS- check out my giveaway, you will like it!

Kameron said...

Teenage years for girls are the worst. I was such a brat between 7th and 8th grade, but then I came back around. I feel bad for my mom for how rude I was, but we moved through it and became best friends after that.

Lanie said...

Well...we can be lame together:) We will get through this. We will be cool moms. Atleast you are young.

writing4612 said...

I'm 19, and I've thought that I knew everything at some points in my life. Boy was I WRONG.

I have a twin brother, and he wants to be an adult. Sometimes he makes decisions that my mom doesn't agree with. He comes home to sleep and that's about it because he works all the time in between seeing his girlfriend.

He doesn't think my mom knows everything, but when he was hurt the other week, she was the first person he called.

I told my mom, "Ha! He DOES need you for something."

Just keep loving them even whe they make mistakes. They can't forget what you've taught them, even if they would like to. Life lessons stay with you no matter what.

I could say a lot more, but I won't:) Just enjoy the time you have with them now because they'll be grown before you know it.

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