Small Victories

The phrase "My way or the highway" was coined for my son Seth. He is the most stubborn child I know. For a long time he refused to talk completely even though all of his hearing tests have come back perfect since his cochlear implant surgery two years ago. Then he finally started talking at home but would never, ever talk when anyone wanted him to. Not even to say please or to get candy. The fastest way to get him to be quiet was to ask him to say anything at all.

Seth is the kid who will talk up a storm until the camera is on him then clam up. He is the kid who talks right up to the door of his classroom then gives everyone the side eye when they say hello, only to start talking again when he's dismissed for the day. He knows immediately if you're angling for him to talk and he shuts right down, only to disappear into the next room and chat up a storm with a stuffed animal or sibling.

He's difficult, is what I'm saying, and he is a control freak of the highest degree when it comes to talking on demand. In other words, he doesn't do it.

Only recently has he begun deigning to say words in response to questions or even imitation, so this video, while simplistic, pretty much makes my life right now. I'm finally starting to see light at the end of the tunnel with this beautiful boy.

Oh, how they grow.

Seth started preschool today. He attended two days a week last year, but this year he is going four days a week. He is not wearing a diaper. He is in a class of kids who spell their names very creatively, like Gavyn and Corbynne and Jaxin. His name sounds very old fashioned in comparison. I love Seth's name...I didn't choose it, actually. It chose him, or something. He is leaving toddlerhood behind and heading into his preschool years. It makes me both excited and a little sad.

On the way to school, Seth was humming happily, probably because he'd just gotten a cookie for using the bathroom successfully before we left. When I pulled into the preschool parking lot, his humming took on a very solem, anxious tone, and as I parked, I jacked my enthusiasm up to eleven. "Hey Seth! Ready for school?!" He looked at me and shook his head decisively. A moment later, he added "No." verbally, just to drive home his point. I pretended I hadn't heard him and we headed away from the car. 

He balked at crossing the parking lot, then he looked up at me and put his hand in mine with this really cautious but trusting look on his face, and we walked inside. He stayed calm all the way into the classroom, where a kid was completely losing it. His mom was basically bolting from the room, and as she walked past me she said "I promise he'll quiet down soon!" I started laughing as soon as she said that and assured her that within thirty seconds no one would even be able to hear her son since Seth would be screaming his head off. She looked relatively relieved.

He was really brave all the way up to his chair. But when I asked him to sit down and showed him the giraffe coloring page that was out on the table, he crumpled. I kissed him and reminded him to try not to go through all three changes of clothes I had sent and that I loved him, and I walked out of the room. He and the boy who was losing it were sort of crying in harmony. At least he wasn't alone in his freak out. 

Because of Ava and Jace's school dismissal time, I run about twenty minutes behind picking Seth up, which his preschool director told me she's totally cool with as they're all running around finishing up for the day. So when I pulled up to get him, there was no crowd, no rush. As I parked at the curb just outside the door and got out, I saw his teacher exiting the building. 

"He had an awesome day!" She called out to me, and then added that he'd calmed down quickly and been a joy all day long. And she didn't seem like she was lying! I thanked her and headed in to find him sitting at a table with another teacher coloring with markers. He saw me, screamed excitedly, and threw his markers back into the box and jumped up to run over to me, holding up his hand to show me the green horse stamp that was emblazoned there. He was smily and excited and happy. 

As we walked out the van and I opened the door, Seth waved excitedly to Ava and Jace. "Hey!" He called out. "Hi!" Ava asked him if he'd had a good day and he shouted "YEAH!"

So he had fun, looked happy, and survived the first day of preschool. And? He only had one accident. I'll take it and call it a win. 

He's growing up. 

Seth's first day of school 2010: (He was newly two)

And his first day of school 2011 as a three year old:

Yes, He's THAT Kid.

Tonight was Seth's meet the teacher night at his new school. He's starting next week and will be going four days a week. I have high hopes for this year. This year is going to be the year Seth gets with the program and zooms to catch up with his peers. He's completely capable, he just has to want it. I'm really hoping spending three hours a day four days a week will jumpstart that desire.

Tonight was not an auspicious start.

We headed down the sidewalk, Coen in a sling, the rest of them walking behind me, Seth holding my hand, and it was all good. He was pleasant, walking happily next to me. We made it all the way into the preschool, right up to the classroom door. So close.

And yet so, so far away.

Seth saw the classroom looming beyond, looked up at me, looked at the room, and completely, utterly LOST IT. He collapsed directly in the doorway, blocking the entrance and exit of everyone everywhere. Ava and Jace jumped over him, completely unmoved, and Evany took one look at Seth and decided to show sisterly solidarity by throwing herself to the ground right next to him and matching him scream for scream.

His teacher looked over and said "Hi, Seth!"

His reputation had preceded him. Awesome.

I bent over, Coen protesting wildly, and dragged Seth and Evany out of the doorway, fake smile plastered to my face so that none of the parents with normal children would realize that my kids were wailing like banshees. Deflection! Distraction! Something else that starts with a D!

It didn't work. Moms were totally giving me the side-eye as they got out of there as quickly as possible. Evany lost interest in the screaming and ran off to explore the room, basically exactly what Seth was supposed to be doing. He, however, had reached a new level of insanity. He was kneeling on the floor, hands clamped tightly over his eyes, repeatedly making this ear splitting "Hee! Hee! Hee!...Hee! Hee! Hee!....Hee!" keening sound. Kind of like a lamaze on steroids.

At that point I realized that I totally had that kid...the one that just loses it at school. I will never forget Ava's classmate from her first year of preschool. She was totally that kid. I felt so sorry for her mom.

And now I'm her.

I told Seth I wasn't leaving him, I tried to pick him up, I tried it all. He wasn't buddging. No toy could distract him from his protest of preschool. So I started chatting with his teacher and tried to act like it was typical for my kid to refuse to remove his hands from his eyes. Which, actually, isn't that odd, so I have some practice. I tried to speed through Seth's list of implant stuff that I always have to cover with new people, and while his teacher was totally sweet, the things I was saying sounded so outlandish to me that it became like an out of body experience in which I was watching myself talk and could not begin to stop myself.

So because things were going so great already, I figured I'd just lay it all out there.  Overshare a little. To sum it up, basically, I told her that Seth would scream when I dropped him off probably through Christmas, most likely refuse to talk to her or follow any commands not worded to make him think it was his idea, and then? Oh, he'd almost certainly pee on her floor at one point or another. I think my exact words were "He'll go to the bathroom if you tell him to, but he'll also happily pee all over himself. So...we're just so excited for school this year!"

We ended on that note, both uncomfortably smiling to beat the band, and I looked down at Seth, who was still "hee-hee-hee-ing" like a champ. I asked him if he wanted to go outsid, not really expecting a response. He immediately stopped crying, nodded his head, stood up, took my hand, and dragged me out of that room in two seconds flat. He turned around when he had made sure he was just over the threshold and safe in the hallway and looked back at his teacher very seriously before turning on his heel and marching away.

Of course by that point Evany was having a grand old time and cried when I made her put the toys down and leave. When Seth noticed, he literally rolled his eyes at her and said "Ebbie! Come on!" in a very demanding tone. How dare a toddler enjoy a preschool room designed to entertain? She's so easily influenced.

This is going to be an interesting year.

All-Nighters and Flamingos

Around here our days fall into two very distinct categories; the days Seth naps and the days he doesn't. On the days we manage to keep him awake all day, everything is sunshine and roses and he goes to bed perfectly at bedtime.

On the days he falls asleep for even a moment, things aren't so rosy. If he falls asleep for two seconds it's like he's given this insane second wind and he is wide awake all night long. Nothing can be done. If he falls asleep during the day, you might as well throw in the towel and prepare for a very long night.

Luckily he tends to be exceedingly sweet at midnight, as seen in this video from last night, or else I would have totally sold him by now.





To avoid these late night get togethers, I've started paying Ava and Jace a dollar to keep him awake in the afternoons. We're a three person tag team keeping Seth from nodding off. As soon as his eyelids start to droop one of us rushes in. "Want to play basketball? Want a snack? Want candy? Want to go play in traffic? Now that'll wake you up!'

Whatever it takes.

It's working pretty well, last night notwithstanding, although I may go broke keeping him awake.

He's usually the troublemaker in our house, and I feel bad that we're always blaming everything on him even though it usually is his fault. Still though, I feel bad that I end up shouting "Seth! Seriously?" A whole lot more throughout the day than the other kids' names. I don't want them to feel left out, after all.

For example, I was obviously very excited today when I walked into my bathroom and saw this lovely offering.

It's totally something Seth would do. It's a Build-A-Bear flamingo in the sink, having a bath (the sink was running and nearly full of water when I walked in). With toothpaste artfully applied throughout. Because why not? Totally something Seth would do. I even started to call his name before I realized that his jr. partner in crime, Evany, was actually the culprit. 

And I was pretty excited about that, in an odd way, mostly because I got his picture in my mind of Seth binding with his little sister by teaching her all his old tricks...mentoring her, if you will, initiating her into the gang of troublemakers. At least he's not ignoring her anymore.

Now that I'm thinking about it, bathing stuffed animals seems to be a habit around here. Ava and Jace gave their stuffed animals a bath on the carpet of their bedroom years ago and we had to replace the entire floor. That was fun.

All of this should probably be filed under the heading "These children will be the death of me."

But at least it'll be a fun way to go!

Single Best Purchase

Since we've moved I've had to buy lots of odds and ends, but there is one purchase that stands out as the absolute best purchase I've made in quite a while.

Nope, it's not Seth. It's the padlock on the refrigerator. 

Hardcore, right?

We have to be around here. Seth is a scavenger and he is freakishly strong. He rips off traditional child proofing equipment with ease. He's like He-Man (Now that's a dated reference...I think my kids have been watching too much Shera on netflix). Things were bad...he was getting the jug of milk out every five minutes and trying to pour himeslf a glass. He was eating all the yogurt. One night he snuck out of bed and silently ate the better part of half a pizza without ever taking it out of the fridge.  Another time he dumped an entire half gallon of flavored coffee creamer onto the floor. We went through two different pathetic refrigerator locks in no time at all, and I finally found myself on Amazon searching for something that could stand up to my three year old without drilling into the refrigerator in my rented apartment. 

And I found the holy grail of locks. It's some sort of crazy strong adhesive, steel cables, and the best part...a padlock. And it even matches my refrigerator! I put it one one day when Seth was napping, and when he woke up, he headed to the kitchen to pilfer something as usual, and he saw the lock. 

He stared at it for a while in disbelief, then grabbed the handle and tried to open it, shaking it back and forth, putting his whole body into it. Finally, he let go. His head dropped down, his shoulders slumped pathetically, and he let out this primal wail of disappointment. He had met his match.

It was a great moment. 

Later, he saw me open the lock with a key and the next thing I knew, he had my car keys out and was trying each one of them in the lock. He was insanely frustrated when none of them worked. He has yet to beat the King of Refrigerator Locks, and our lives are so much easier! 

It's the little things. Like opening the fridge after finally getting all five kids asleep and finding my cookie dough right where I left it. 

That? Is priceless. 

We've been hanging out at home all day working on the potty training with middling success. We had four successful trips to the bathroom and about as many accidents. I have learned he will pee on command for cake, though, so I think I'll just ask his preschool teacher if she can keep some on hand for bathroom breaks. That's totally reasonable, right?

I knew the other shoe was going to drop one day...Ava and Jace were entirely too easy to potty train. Seth is the great equalizer, sent here to humble me just in case I thought I had it figured out. 

Good thing he's cute. 

He's Three!

I have so many things to post about. I have been so sick this week. Just a day after Coen came home, I had to head back into the hospital. I was a basket case having to leave Coen at home, but thank God it was just a pretty bad kidney infection and I didn't have to stay. The antibiotics finally started to kick in in Friday and I have slowly begun to feel human again. It was pretty horrible for a while, which is a whole 'nother post.

But today?

Today is Seth's Third Birthday!

It also just happens to be Coen's 2 week birthday. So I thought a celebratory brotherly photo shoot was in order.

We've had a really nice, laid back day. We had a great lunch with family and then did a few gifts and had cake. Seth has been riding his new tricycle around the house all day long. He's such a sweet boy. In addition to being sweet, he is ornery, and for the record, colorstay 24 hour lipstick really doesn't come off. And now he has some nice 24 hour color all over his eye. It's very classy. 

Luckily I'd already taken their pictures. 

I can't believe this boy is three! I fall more in love with him every day, even though he is the most challenging child I have ever had the pleasure of calling my own. He pushes boundaries, marches to the beat of his own drummer, and makes life really difficult sometimes, but seeing him automatically pray before a meal and hearing him say "In Jesus Name We Pray!", or hearing him say I love you to me at night as his gives me his very best hug makes it all more than worth it, even if "it all" consists of putting him back to bed twenty more times the very same night. He keeps me on my toes, this one, and I thank God for it every single day. 

Happy Birthday, Seth. I love you more than more. 

Happy Birthday to Seth's Ears!

I know we just celebrated this a month ago, but that was the two year anniversary of Seth's cochlear implant surgery. Today is the two year anniversary of the day he was activated, the day he heard for the first time.

I like today.

For those who weren't reading at the time or who just want to remember what it was like on that day, here is the video if Seth hearing my voice for the first time. Best 37 seconds ever. Haha!



This is a video of Seth watching the above video this morning. What a difference two years makes! And yes, he has terrible bed head! (It might still be processing, but it should be up soon!) It's nothing too exciting, but the fact that he's here and hearing is pretty exciting to me!



Seth happened to have a booth testing yesterday for his upcoming IEP for school next year. It was perfect timing for his two year hearing birthday, and we got great results...Seth 's hearing with his cochlear implants is, in a word, perfect! He falls within normal hearing limits in all frequencies. This is so cool and not always typical for kids with cochlear implants, so we're thrilled.

He's amazing. His implants are amazing. It's a great day here at our house!

Hope everyone else has a great day, too!

Someone's ears are TWO!

It's Bionic Birthday Boy time around here again. Seth's ears are two years old!

Wow. It's really been two years. Two years since the boy had his big surgery. Two years since we finished pushing and fighting and begging for early implantation and started living it out. It's been a crazy two years.

Here is last year's post about Seth's first annual Bionic Birthday. And here is a link to the big Surgery Day post.

What a two years it has been. You'll have to forgive the huge amount of pictures in this post...I got started and I couldn't stop. In some ways, this day feels like a real birth day...the day he was born was so scary and he was so sick and the next several months were a blur of doctor's appointments and diagnoses and being sick and working towards this day. So when it happened...it was big, and it was the start of Seth's new life.

Seth has done everything in his own time, but what he always does well is hear.  It's amazing to see him respond to his siblings or an airplane in the sky, and my heart still melts when I see him smile when I call his name. In many ways, our work really just began on activation day, and sometimes it's been rocky. But every bit of the work has been worth it to see the way Seth has grown and blossomed in the last two years. 

Seth's implants have changed his life, all of our lives. It's been a blessing to get to watch him as he's grown. His implants are so much a part of him I catch myself feeling around on Evany's head for her implant sites before I realize that she doesn't actually have any. I was so scared about whether feeling his implants would be strange or people would treat him differently because he wears processors on his head, but Seth is Seth and that's all there is to it. He is who he is, and his implants are part of him. 

I can't believe that Seth has been hearing for well over twice as long as he was deaf. Of course he'll always be deaf, but as he's grown I can see how much he identifies with being a hearing kid. Seeing him ask for his ears in the morning and wear them all day long shows me that he loves hearing life go on around him. 

Seth's first hearing year was amazing. But his second has been just phenomenal. He has grown even more comfortable with his processors and started school this year at a preschool with completely typical kids. When I asked his teacher if he fit in okay, she told me that he was just like the other kids in class, but a much better listener. That was basically the best compliment I could have hoped for for Seth. 

Of course Seth is the most stubborn kid in the world, and he doesn't always (or seemingly ever, sometimes) cooperate. He has delays. He has struggles with his speech and his gross motor skills. But his struggles aren't due to his hearing, and if he catches up or doesn't catch up, I don't care as long as he continues to be able to live a life that is complete and fulfilling. So far he's doing a great job of that, and I couldn't be more proud of him. 

Regardless of what happens in Seth's life, i will never forget what a blessing this gift of hearing has been for him. 

It's been a good two years for Seth and his ears, and I know we will have many more. We have been so blessed with a great relationship with his implant company, Advanced Bionics, and I couldn't ask for better people to work with keeping Seth hearing and all his equipment working. With a crazy two year old, it can be a tough job, and they have done an amazing job of keeping up with him. 

I love you, Seth, and I love your ears! Happy 2nd Bionic Birthday!

He's Growing Up

Somebody is starting to look a lot more like a three year old than a two year old.

(Pictures are from a petting zoo shortly before we left Florida, hence the t-shirt!)


***Apparently these pictures aren't showing up. I can only assume it's a flickr issue as I've replaced them and nothing changes. Hopefully they'll show up soon!**

He's growing tall and lean, although he still has chubby knees and elbows and his hands and feet best resemble those of a St. Bernard puppy. We're going to have a tall one on our hands. 

Seth has, if anything, blossomed since we've been here. When we first arrived, he was more clingy than ever, but as the days have gone by he has branched out, and while he's still more than a little attached to me, he is having a great time with everyone here and warming up to people a lot more quickly than he ever has. 

Yesterday he ushered Jordan into one of the bedrooms and made her lay down, then said "Good night! I love you! Stay right there!" then shooed me out of the room, yelling "Go! Go!" before shutting off the light and running out behind me, where he waited for about ten seconds behind the door, giggling, before he ran back into the room and flipped the light on, yelling "Good Morning!"

He's blossoming, and while his speech is still behind where I'd like it to be, and he is still the most stubborn child on the planet and won't speak when asked, I see him coming out of his shell more every day. He's doing a great job going up and down the stairs and every day is like a mega physical therapy session for him. It's a joy to watch him boss us all around. 

I tell people all the time that Seth has made me humble, that he has taught me that every single child needs to be parented differently, and it's still true. Ava and Jace were coming right along when Seth was born, and the same general theories and discipline worked for them both. But with Seth, I had to throw everything I knew out the window and start fresh. Not because what I did with Ava and Jace was bad, but because Seth is Seth and required a whole new approach. 

I would never have chosen attachment parenting, although that may seem harsh. But due to a lot of Seth's issues as a baby, that's the approach I ended up using. Ava and Jace were much more independent, even as babies, and they thrived and were happy with a different approach. Evany is the most laid back baby in the entire world, and she doesn't have the same physical pull to be close to me at all times, although she is good for a great cuddle every so often. But Seth is often an extension of me. I know if he's not nearby he's probably getting in trouble. As weird as it sounds, I love that he feels secure enough here to sneak off and get in trouble. For a long time he never would have strayed from my side. His independence is growing. As is the list of trouble he has been getting into!

But even as he gets more secure in himself, he is a still a Mama's boy, just like Jace. He is amazing. I am in awe of the progress he's made and so proud of how he is so much like any other kid out there in spite of the things he's had to overcome. It would be easy for Seth to do things halfway, timid, unsure of whether he's missing something or hearing everything. But Seth does things full tilt or not at all.  I love that he has a (very) high opinion of himself. I love that when he deigns to give a hug, he does it all the way, no holds barred, flinging his arms straight out to the sides before administering a fierce hug. And really, if what we teach our kids is to do things all out and mean it, both physically and mentally, I'm okay with that. 

Soon I'll have to stop calling him a baby, huh?