Sunday, May 17, 2009

Dear Seth- 10 months

Dear Seth,

Today, you are ten months old. I like's a nice round number. It's also very close to 22, which, I'm not sure if you've realized, means you'll be A WHOLE YEAR OLD SOON! That completely blows me away.

This month, I wanted to tell you the ways that you impress me. As you know, you got off to a pretty rough start. Respiratory Distress Syndrome, Persistent Pulmonary Hypertention, a PDA and two PFO's in your heart. a collapsed lung,a chest tube, insanely high bilirubin was not fun. Then, of course, the icing that got slapped onto your cake as we headed out the door...deafness!

It was overwhelming, to say the least. But I can tell you truthfully I never spent a single second wondering why me, why you...because from the moment I saw you, I was so impressed with you, just for making it out alive. It's not the easiest thing ever, you know. We soldiered on. Hearing aids, speech therapy, and as you began to lag behind on your physical milestones, physical therapy. We had some kind of therapy 4-5 times a week. You were confusing. Sometimes you could hear. Most of the time, you couldn't. The only fix...cochlear implants. But most insurance companies won't approve until 12 months. Then, a huge approval for cochlear implants! And the money to pay for them!

Handing you off the the anesthesiologist that morning may have been one of the hardest things I've ever done, surpassed only by the day I had to hand your brother over to the nurse as she wheeled him away from me for the last time. Part of me was reasonably sure that something would go terribly wrong.

But you were a champ, and your surgeon said that surgery literally could not have gone better. Recovery was hard, but you bounced back and the day you were activated was one of the most amazing days of my life. Seeing your eyes snap to mine and you start laughing was so beautiful. Every day since has been a joy, seeing you react and learn every second.

It's been a crazy 10 months. Frustrating. I can't tell you how many times I wished you were "just deaf" like most deaf babies...the whole auditory neuropathy thing drove me insane. I remember sitting with your audiologist, saying, completely seriously "I hate AN! Why can't he just be deaf?"

I take it all back. We had a speech and language evaluation the other day, just one week after your CI activation. For all intents and purposes (taking actual age and your adjusted age of 8 1/2 months into account)...

You are AGE APPROPRIATE for speech and language! Thanks to your therapy, and your hearing aids, and your Auditory Neuropathy, and your early CI implantation, you have no language gap to speak of. Well, thanks to them, but mostly thanks to God, of course. It's a huge blessing, something that takes a huge amount of weight off of my shoulders. I don't have to worry about getting you up to date...I just need to keep you there. I love the comments we've been getting from our therapist and audiologists. One called you a poster child for CI's. Another called you a superstar.

But what you are to me, my bouncing, 10 month old boy, is a miracle. My very own cuddly, loving miracle.

I love you, Bubby.



Elyse said...

HAPPY 10 months Seth! You are a joy to your family's heart and you are loved by all!

Cathy said...

Love it. Happy 10 months!

Mommy3 said...

Wow...time flies..Happy 10 months Seth! Before you know it, you'll be posting first birthday pictures! :)

Anonymous said...

Amen! I couldn't agree more with Seth being a superstar! What a month this has been :)

Taking Heart said...

Happy 10 Month Birthday to Seth!
Congratulations on all of your hard work and unfailing love!!!

Emily said...

Happy 10 months, Seth! You are just as precious as can be!

Lizze said...

Happy 10 months Seth!

Side note: I didn't realize that Seth was only 10months old. For some reason I've been thinking he was much older than that, like some where in the ballpark of 2 years! lol My little Emmett John will be 11 months (10 months adjusted) on the 26th so if my math is correct (and after last night there's a very good chance it's horribly wrong) Seth's birthday is July 17th, the day before mine. :) Very cool!

Okay, I'm done with my sleep deprived rambling now. At least for this comment...*insert evil laugh here*

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