Wednesday, August 26, 2009

19 weeks!


19 weeks. 4 shots down, 16 to go (I'll continue the shots to 36 weeks). I could have this baby in 16 weeks. In fact, if I go 16 more weeks, it will be the most pregnant I have ever been other than with Ava. That seems really soon right now. Time has gone into super sonic speed lately...the kids start school in two weeks, then we have 2 months of soccer, halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years...and somewhere in there, hopefully towards the end of that list, a new baby!


I feel fine. Weight is holding steady at 110. I took a sneak peak at my chart today and apparently I started this pregnancy at 109. It's kind of an issue, mostly because I tend to have issues with pre term labor. I'm eating a lot, but it's a fine line between eating enough to gain and eating so much my blood sugar is not well controlled. I could use some prayer for that..I'm feeling a little frustrated.

A couple of issues have raised their ugly heads. My cervix is shortening, and I currently have placenta previa. I was hoping that by my ultrasound this morning the latter would have resolved itself, but it hasn't, and my cervix is measurably shorter than it was at my last ultrasound two weeks ago. It was already on the shorter side of normal, and it shortened more than half a centimeter in the last two weeks. It's not a huge issue now, but I only have another half centimeter before I will be in the danger zone.

Both of these things could possibly resolve themselves, and I really need them to. For my emotional well being, number one (all of my issues with Eli started at my 19 week ultrasound when they saw I had a funneling, shortened cervix , and it's hard not to remember the outcome there. I was on bedrest from soon after that until Eli was born), and just logistically. Going on bedrest is not a very viable option with our family split up the way it is, (even though we have family to lend a hand) and if the Previa does not resolve itself that will mean a c-section. That in itself isn't the worst thing ever, but I can't afford a long recovery with a newborn, 18 month old, 4 year old, and 5 year old at home when I'm the main caregiver and the only adult in our home.

So I'm feeling a little frustrated. My pregnancy with Seth was so text book up until my water broke, and I was really, really hoping that would be the case this time around, too. Things are so crazy in my life right now that I don't know how much more I can deal with. I want this baby to be safe and healthy. Today Seth and I were at one of his doctors for an appointment, and she said "Don't you ever just wonder how much more you're supposed to be able to take?" And I do. I wonder what I can take, but I also know that I don't have to take it alone. God is with me at every step, and I feel Him walking with me. It means a lot to know you're all here with me too. Thanks for coming back, making me laugh and cry with your funny and thoughtful comments, and keeping all of us in your prayers.
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