Thursday, September 3, 2009

This is just plain gross. Don't eat while reading.

So, the other day my kids came home from their Grandma's with some stuff from the Dollar Tree. This happens every time. They go so much that I think they've bought out the store, so the stuff they come home with just keeps getting weirder. The other day they came home with eggs that you soak and then eventually they hatch and an animal is born. I didn't bother to ask what animal it was, and we put them in water. That was an issue in itself...none of our sinks would hold the water and they kept slowly draining and then the kids would freak and run out into the living room, screaming "We have a DRAINING problem!" Then we'd have to rush back to the bathroom and refill the sink.

My next door neighbor was over and she said "Why don't you just put it them in a bowl or pitcher?" I stared at her for about a minute before admitting that I had actually not even thought of that as being an option.

Speaking of our neighbors...we share a yard. If you're not from Florida, you might not know that the heat of summer is when our grass grows the most. Like, a lot. We have a tree in our backyard that we planted for Eli that is completely hidden from view. When the dogs go outside I think they believe they're on a prairie.Thank Goodness we don't have Home Owners Association fees, just neighbors that hate us for being lazy. Especially when they mow and weed wack their yard and ours looks even worse in comparison. I want to live next to people who are just as lazy as me all around me so I don't have to feel bad all the time.

Anyway, we also have a trampoline in our side yard, behind a privacy fence (and it has an enclosure! And we watch them dilligently! Most of the time). In the summer we rarely let the kids go out and jump because it is so hot out that the trampoline gets crazy hot and then they have to hose it down and it's just complicated. But the other night, we had some babysitters and so did they, and they all knew each other, so they spent the whole night traipsing from house to house and playing. I told them that they could go on the trampoline, but to check for snakes first since the grass was so long. John has found several snakes in the yard over the past couple of years. That freaks me right out...Snakes. Ugh.

So anyway, they went on the trampoline, and Ava said there were no snakes, but that the grass covered her eyes. Yeah, I don't know if that's for or not, but it's not too far off.

That was pretty much to establish that we tend to get snakes  in our yard, especially when we don't mow. I know, this post is all over the place. Just wait. It will come together.

So last night I get a phone call from my neighbor and she sounds a little freaked out. Apparently they had been noticing a pretty terrible smell coming from their garage and after ignoring it for a while, like anyone would, they finally realized it was coming from their dryer. So they pull the hose? thing? I don't know...what goes to the outside out of the dryer, and fine...a dead, decaying snake in there.

I told you not to eat while you read this.

So I'm about to throw up, but tell her that I apparently have a really terrible mind because as soon as she started talking about a bad smell, I thought she was going to tell me that they found their cat in the dryer. So, comparitively, I guess a snake is better.

But it gets worse. I was out at dinner with some friends last night and I get a text from my neighbor. I'm going to copy it verbatim because I almost died laughing.

Apparently the snake was killed in our dryer. T just found snake guts and parts in the dryer fan. Hope you're not still eating. That could ruin an appetite.

Sidenote: Don't you just love how she texts in real words instead of text speak? One of the reasons I love her.

So yeah. The other night, they were starting the dryer up and the fan caught and sputtered. They thought their brand new dryer was breaking, and were kind of stressed. So they tried it again before freaking out, and the fan started up and everything worked fine. The dryer had murdered the snake.

The grossest part is that they had to open up their dryer and spend three hours removing the snake parts that the fan sucked in there. Isn't that the most sickening thing ever?

I can't decide if I'm glad that the dryer took out the snake so I didn't have to come across it or sad that they had to take their entire dryer apart or grossed out that snakes exist at all. Kind of a mixture.

But here's the best part. This morning, we woke up and went to check on the kids eggs, and what do you think my sink was full of?

A bunch of baby snakes.

Yeah. I know. At least they were fake, but still. Ugh.
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