Sunday, May 16, 2010

Crib, teeth, house. Nonsensical.

The crib is up! The crib is up the crib is up the crib is up!

I'm inordinately proud of myself. It's just a crib, of course...and then I hung a beautiful piece of artwork my best friend Kara made of Evany's name over her crib, but wow. And by the way, that just reminded me that when I told Kara what I was planning to name the baby, she heaved a huge sigh of relief and said "Thank GOODness I like it!" Apparently she'd been very worried I was going to choose a name she didn't like. Although she likes all the other kids' names, so I don't know why she was worried, but...then again, maybe she doesn't like the other kids names! Oooh, I'm onto her. I wonder whose name she doesn't like??

I have to have the second half of my root canal done tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it.

That may be the biggest understatement of the year. It was one thing when I was in the worst pain ever...they could have cut my head off and I would have said thank you. But now that I'm thinking about it and no longer in pain...well, that was a big needle. A lot of sharp pokey things. It's not going to be fun.  Hopefully they'll give me some good pain killers again.

So I received bad house news this week. Back in March I was told we were prequalified for a loan modification program, and thanks to you guys, I had the opportunity to take advantage of it. I sent in the payment after being assured several times that we were qualified for the program. Then I waited. And waited. And waited and waited and waited and almost went crazy until this week, when I got the news that we were not, after all, accepted into the program. I almost threw up. I have talked to several people, gone around and around, and I'm again waiting to hear about anything else we might actually qualify for. It's looking like the payment I made is going to be applied to our mortgage and I can't get it back, although it may buy me a little more time.

I could just die. I don't know if I was stupid and misunderstood something, or if it was a misunderstanding, or if the loan officer I talked to roughly 56 times misled me. He seemed to feel terrible, or he's a very good actor. He said that the prequalifications almost always go through fine, but that Fannie May kicks some out once in a while, but it's rare. Apparently I was one of those. Regardless, I feel like an idiot. I'm frustrated. I'm sad. I feel terrible that so many people tried to help me and it all got screwed up. I'm angry...but mostly I feel stupid and let down. As a lot of you probably know, the worst is when you come to terms with something, then find out that everything you wanted could actually happen, then have it taken away again.

I know God is in control of this and everything else. But man oh man, do I want to know what's going on.

So that's been my week. Exciting times, I know. How was your weekend?
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