Thursday, July 7, 2011

There's something about Coen

I'm about to update about Coen again but I feel kind of bad. I'm not neglecting the other kids, I promise! They spent the day at the zoo today with their Grandma and had a great time. They've been shuttling back and forth between my mom and my aunt and uncle and having a grand old time. I came home from the hospital last night and spent time with the four of them and it was really nice.

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All four of them have met their brother now, and Ava and Jace are just in love with him. Seth thought he was cute but I could tell he thought he was just some random baby until last night when we were getting ready for bed. All of a sudden he looked at my stomach and yelled "Where's the baby?! Where'd he GO?"

It was hilarious. Then this morning when we were all checking into the NICU, it's like it all clicked for Seth and he took off down the hallway yelling "New Baby! New Baby!"

It was adorable. Then he started trying to climb into Coen's bed, which wasn't so adorable.

Evany just kind of smiled at the baby and then wandered off to play in the NICU's play area.

Yes. The NICU has a huge family lounge with a play area. It's amazing. This whole experience has just been great. I came home to sleep last night, which I have almost never done when I have a baby in the NICU. It's a huge testament to how much I trust these doctors and nurses. I feel totally comfortable with him being there even when I can't be, which is huge considering I can be a bit of a control freak.

So back to Coen. Man, I just love saying his name. I hardly let myself say it while I was pregnant because we were keeping the name a secret and now that it's officially his name I just can't say it enough. It fits him so well already and I have loved this particular name for years but it just never fit the other boys. But this baby is definitely the Coen I've been waiting to name.

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As of last night when I left the hospital he was on the verge of being put on the ventilator. He was struggling and his doctor had a conversation with me about how it was time and that he would most likely be putting him on the ventilator after his next blood gas and x-ray. So I basically prepared myself for the vent and got my head wrapped around it. Both Seth and Jace were on it, so we've been there, and while it was a huge bummer, I wanted what was best for Coen. He was in pain, he was struggling, and I totally agreed with the doctor...it was looking like it was time.

Can I just say again how much I love Coen's doctors? They're all amazing. One of them was chatting with us yesterday and he commented on how calm I was and he said "Usually I go into a room and say hello and the mom immediately starts bawling. It's not great for my self esteem!"

So when I walked in this morning to see a quiet, peaceful baby who was actually on less oxygen than he was on last night and was most definitely not on a ventilator, I was shocked, to say the least! He looked like a different baby. To top it off, his pneumothorax was almost completely resolved and he just seemed a hundred times more content than he did last night.

It was pretty awesome. His nurse from yesterday was as surprised as I was and when his doctor poked his head in, we joked about how Coen must have heard him threatening to put him on the vent. He laughed and said "This is what I like about you! You always have a smile for me." I just love that the doctors caring for him actually talk to me instead of just talking at me and moving on.

Then...then! Coen started waving his arms around and I jumped up to see what was wrong and he kept raising his eyebrows and wiggling around and then he opened his eyes for the very first time! Up until now he's been like a newborn kitten. It was so cool to see him open his eyes and look around! He's obviously a genius since he was kind enough to wave his arms and let me know something big was about to happen.

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And this is officially too long. I have a bunch of things to write about but they can all wait until later. The good news is that Coen is, as of now, doing well and we're all head over heels in love with him. I already can't imagine not having him with us and it's so surreal to me that just a few days ago I hadn't met him and had no idea who he'd be. You guys are going to have to put up with me gushing about him for a while longer...he's just amazing and I can't get over how blessed I am to have these amazing children. The tough parts don't hold a candle to the blessings of this family I have.

Hope everyone has a great night!


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