I can still see you even if your eyes are shut. Shocking, I know. Also, locking the bedroom door after you leave it will not keep me from putting you back to bed. I'm twenty-nine years old. I know how to operate a lock. Additionally, smiling at me and tilting your head to the side won't make me forget you're out of bed, no matter how cute you are. Go. to. sleep.
Love, Mom
Dear Coen,
I love you. So much. And I have a lot of sympathy for the fact that you're not quite seven weeks old and are therefore not at all malicious. Yet. But you have to let me put you down sometime. My semester starts in four days and I have a 3.96 GPA to uphold. Let's compromise. I'll let you have all the candy you want and buy you your very own pony when you're five if you'll just let me put you down in the evenings without screaming your head off. Both my future degree and I thank you.
Love, Mom
