Sunday, November 9, 2008

He danced!

I saw a friend's bracelet at church today and commented on how pretty it was. She showed me the inscription, which read:

God danced the day you were born.

Wow, that is simple, huh? I had seen and heard it before, but it really hit me today. But wow! God danced. God danced! He danced on the day I was born. He danced on the day Ava was gifted to us. He danced even as Jace was rushed down to the NICU, not breathing. Even in times of terrible trial, God celebrates each and every life!

As Eli was born too silent, too still, still God celebrated him. There is no doubt in my mind that while my baby's life was too, too brief, he was still celebrated and loved. I cannot tell you how much it helps me to know that while we celebrated our son even while we grieved him, that God was doing the same. Maybe He was dancing with tears running down His face, but Eli was celebrated nonetheless. As we held him and sang him the last lullabies we would get to sing to him, God was holding him, too, and healing every hurt he had. Looking back, I can see myself holding my son, and I can picture God's arms wrapped around us both, around everyone in the room and all those outside who were affected by his all too short life.

And, with Seth, I knew. I could feel it, as he was born, as he gave us pause as he took his own sweet time to cry out, in the palpable tension in the room. As we heard that first, most amazing cry, all the walls came down. Everything I had not let myself hope for suddenly came rushing in. A baby, a baby who was breathing and red and screaming! As my mom, and John, and my best friends, and my doctor, and the NICU nurses all cried tears of joy at the simplest yet hardest thing ever...a baby being born safely, I could feel God there, dancing and weeping joyful tears along with us. Because there is something about a baby that comes after a loss. You suddenly know how easy it is not, how unbearably hard it can be to have a healthy baby. When something finally goes right it feels like the most precious gift imaginable.

I love that God danced for each and every one of my children, each and every one of your children, and each and every child born on this earth, no matter what or who their parents believed in! Children are so, so precious to us. While I know that life is precious to God, I just love knowing that they are so precious and lovely to him that he dances when they are born!


Mommy3 said...

Thank you for sharing! I really enjoyed this post. :) Also, the most random question, have you ever thought about middle child syndrome? Are you done with your 3? I am thinking of adding a third to our family and can't shake the thoughts about middle child I overthinking this? I have researched it a bit and I just know that my husband and I have enough room in our hearts for another blessing in our family! How is life with 3? Does your "middle" child ever seem unhappy to have both a big sibling and little sibling? Sorry this is so long..rambling.

Mommy3 said...

I'm really sorry for my insensitivity in my questions! I do know you have four kiddos and hope I didn't hurt you in saying "3 kids". In what ways do you think Jace "falls through the cracks"? We have always said we'd want 4 but not sure...I almost feel like if I have a 3rd I HAVE to go on to have a fourth! LOL. But I don't want to feel that way, bc of finances and such we may end up with a 3 child household. And Seth is not that much younger than his siblings honestly! My two are almost 2.5 yrs apart and if we had another it wouldn't be in 2009 but in 2010 we believe as we do not feel completely little boy is quite a mama's boy and a handful at the moment. So, the difference in age b/w Luke and the third child would be greater than the one b/w his sister and him. Thanks for the reply though!

Shanda said...

Ellyn~I love this post. The saying touched me as a mom too!

I found your blog through MckMamma's "Not Me Monday!" As I read about each of your children I was touched. I know you must have walked through some very deep valleys after Eli's birth/homegoing. Seth seems the absolute perfect name for your 4th. It was encouraging to see you push past the fear of loss again with his birth. I have a friend whose granddaughter just lost her first child in a very similar way and I praise God that they know the Lord and have hope. If you have any tips on how we can encourage this mom (Heather) and her husband, I would love to hear them. They are an awesome Christian family and have handled things so beautifully and with such faith, but I know from loss in my own life, that there are still dark days to come that they will have to walk through...if it is still too close to respond to my question on "tips," I will completely understand. HUGS!

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