This is remarkably vague, because at this point it needs to be, but a young birth mom and her family really need your prayers. She has made the decision to allow her baby to be adopted, and has chosen an awesome, godly couple who have been waiting for some time. There are a few things in the way with other parties involved, though, and the papers have not been signed. Please, please be in prayer that:
- That the birth mother and her family will feel comforted and know they are making the right choice.
- That the adoptive parents will be blessed with peace and patience as this plays out. They have been so brave and already bonded with the baby even though things are up in the air.
- That all the adults in the situation make choices that are in this baby's best interests, and that His will is done here.
Thanks guys, I really appreciate it! Also, just to clarify, I do know these people in real life and they actually exist. I hate having to say that, but you know how it can be. Tomorrow is a crucial time for everything, and I am just in constant prayer for this baby and everyone involved. I would be so happy if you all would join in with me.
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So, today just happened to mark one month since John left. I spent the day with Seth at a specialist appointment, then I was lucky enough to get to go to the lab, give 12 vials of blood, and do the glucose tolerance test. Let me tell you, it was just as bad as it always it. Fairly certain I failed, and no, I'm not just being negative! I've had gestational diabetes with three out of four of the kids, so it was kind of a formality to do it at all.
Point is, I had a few hours sitting at the lab to think. I can't believe it's been a month. The day before he left, we were at Ikea. We dropped the kids off in the play area and ate lunch together, joking about how it was a date. We both mentioned how fun it was on the way home. I have trouble reconciling that person he was that day with the person he has become or is trying to be.
I guess what I just don't get is, if the last three, five, however many years were so bad (his words, not mine), then what would it have cost him, really, to stay for a few months, be with his family through the kids birthdays (July, August, September), through the holidays, until that baby is born? What's a few months more? What would be so bad about trying one more time so that you could say you'd exhausted your efforts? I just don't buy that one counseling session convinced him that it was over. At the end of this, I don't want any what if's, and giving up when I didn't know anything was wrong... not taking the time to be honest and give it one more shot just seems like asking for upset and confusion down the road when everything calms down and he can't maintain this anger and resentment towards me.
But it is what it is. I've made it a month, and I never would have though I could do that. The kids and I are still here, and while we're a little battered and bruised emotionally, they are still joyful, happy kids that love their dad and miss him, but who know that I am a constant for them. More than anything, I want John to be someone that his kids can be proud of.
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So, I was resting today after my blood draws and terrible Glucola experience, and Ava kept coming up to me and stroking my forward and saying "Mama, can I get you any refreshments? Some water? Would you like a jello? Just let me know what you need." I think it was the cutest thing ever. She is so sweet.
I need to pick a winner from the captions from the other day, but I've been lazy. I'll get to it! If you're bored and would like to help, you can go back and click "like" on the captions you thought were the best. =) I like to delegate, if you hadn't noticed. =)
Hope you all are having a great night!
