Anyway, we hung out together just about every second. We had to approve of each other's boyfriend choices, and had veto power if we didn't approve. We took ourselves very seriously.
We had a notebook.
Because we didn't have very many classes together throughout the day, one day I wrote a note to Sarah (the S in JELKS) in a notebook I had, and when I saw her, I just passed the entire notebook to her. She wrote back, and thus, it began.
The notebook was passed to and from each member of our group, and if the boys who tried to steal it every day knew just how often we poured our hearts onto those pages they might have been too embarrassed to read it at all.
Here it is, in all it's glory. It's orange, because we had an overabundance of pride in our Marching Band, the Big Orange Pride (better known as the BOP...apparently throwing initials together was common at our school.).
And now, against my better judgement, I'm going to give you all a glimpse into the psyche of 17 year old me. There are more dramatic entries than the one I'm posting today, but I figured I should start at the beginning. The (manufactured) drama of our lives should probably be waded into rather than jumped into.
But wait, here is a picture of a portion of JELKS to help you visualize. Pre-Digital, Baby!
Here is the very first entry of the notebook. Underneath is a transcription of this very serious, soul searching note.
Wednesday, September 8, 1999
12:41 AL (after lunch)
Sarah-
It's a weird situation, with Jen - she mentioned to me that it seemed like she couldn't mess around with you anymore. She said that you never used to get upset when she did things like throw food or anything...and she said that when your necklace got broken she was just trying to scoot the clasp around and it got stuck on your tag. In any case, it's definitely conceivable that the way Chris acts has an effect on her - he's never had inhibitions and Jen may admire that. Who knows. I think she's just trying to figure out who she's supposed to be in our newly expanded group, you know? I mean, we all have identities within the circle, and she may be trying to play the part she usually is given. This may not be making any sense - it probably isn't. But Jen is usually set as the clown, and it may be carrying over. You never know.
Oh - do you have yellow overalls and a yellow tank top? That's what we want to wear for twin day, and Linds, Kara and I all have them. It would be cuuute.
I'm really nervous to hear what Jeremy's gonna say to me...I mean, it can't be bad because he said it was like my note but better, so...now I just have to wait because he's stupid and has to insist on the perfect freakin moment. Ergh. It's supposed to be what he says, not where he says it!!! Oh well. Are you nervous about Saturday? I'm mucho mucho nervous. Especially that we have no choreography to the 3rd movement and we do the whole show FRIDAY and then Saturday against grande schools. I'm not good at learning tons of stuff overnight. Oh well. I better split. Don't worry about Jen - I'm sure it will get better.
Love ya (dearly not queerly)
Ellyn
Wow. There are so many things I want to say to myself. If I could send myself at 17 a bulleted list, here is what it would say.
- Don't write a note talking about someone else who is going to see that note. It causes drama.
- Is this note really about a necklace breaking? O. M. G.
- Add two extra u's to the word "cute" kind of negates all the "mature" advice you're trying to give because you sound like a dork.
- How do you switch from a serious topic to talking about overalls so seamlessly, as if they're both of equal importance? Crazy.
- You should be nervous about what he's going to say to you, since you're totally getting dumped, (oops, spoiler! =P) and you handle it so badly that it literally changes the course of your senior year of high school.
- Throwing random spanish words like "mucho" and "grande" into your note really just makes you look like a tool. Pick a language.
- Saying you love someone of the same gender doesn't actually mean you love them romantically. The disclaimer is not really necessary, even though it rhymes and you think it's catchy.You should get over that.
- Also, you need to improve your handwriting. Thanks.
There you go. Now you don't just know lots of random things about me now, at 27, but you've gotten a glimpse into my senior year of high school. Just wait to see what happens next! I know, you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation.
