Scissors

So I woke up this morning and was making breakfast when I saw that all the toys that are supposed to hang from Evany's (new) play mat lying forlornly on the floor. I thought maybe they velcro'd on and that one of the kids had pulled them off while playing.

But...nope. Upon closer inspection it was clear that all the toys' strings had been cut cleanly off.

I turned to look at Ava and Jace, both of whom started talking a mile a minute. They each said it was the other, and when that didn't work, they told me it was Seth. That he had somehow climbed out of his own crib, climbed up onto the counter, onto the microwave to get the scissors, then got back down, cut Evany's toys off the play mat, planted the scissors in Ava and Jace's room to fake me out, then put himself back to bed.

When I explained why that wasn't likely to have happened, they changed the story again. In this scenario, it was Evany herself who sabotaged the play mat since she was so unimpressed at the gift I chose for her.

Wow. I knew she was advanced, but I had no idea she already had the dexterity to manipulate scissors. I think she could maybe play Renesmee in Breaking Dawn if that's the case.

Hey, there's a thought!

Anyway, in the end, the both admitted to cutting the toys off.

But it didn't stop there.

They cut the hair of a doll I'm immensely attached to...on our first visit to New York City, we saw a doll at FAO Schwarz that looked just like Eli did. (He had died two days before) After I couldn't stop talking about the doll for days on end, we rushed back to the store, racing through the place just before closing time. I was a basket case thinking the doll was going to be gone...These were the dolls they have in a "nursery" area of the store and they're all unique. But we made it, and he was still there. I remember holding him a lot in the months after Eli died, needing to be able to hold a baby in my arms. He's weighted and feels remarkably baby like.

And now he's been scalped.

But they didn't stop there, either. They cut some other stuffed animal's hair, then they cut each other's hair. Ava told me Jace's hair was too long on top so she cut it. Just last week I paid the stylist to cut his hair longer on top ON PURPOSE, Ava! You're Five! You don't know style! Then Jace cut her hair. And she may have gotten away with a new haircut after the first time she trimmed her own hair up a few months ago, but I'm not doing it again. She's going to have to live with one chunk of hair a whole lot shorter than the rest.

And she better like it.

It was a good thing today was Sunday and we were running late for church, because they may have had to walk the plank into our drainage ditch otherwise.

They're in a lot of trouble. It's partly my fault for, you know, sleeping.  Of course it would be better if I could stay awake 24 hours a day. I know that would be ideal, but it's just not happening. And these kids are sneaky. And tall.

So now we're a scissor free zone. The next school project we have to do will have a distinctively crafty feel to it, what with the hand torn paper and all. Let's hope they don't go in a glue stick rampage next, or we'll really be screwed.