Monday, April 26, 2010

I'll txt u l8tr!

This is my best friend, Keith. Have you noticed I have a lot of best friends yet? I do; and I mean it completely with every single one. I love them all in their own quirky, special way. K Fly Dog and I met the summer after I graduated from highschool when we worked that horrific office job I told you guys about a while back.


Today, I was driving down the road when I saw this van ahead of me...which just so happened to be the company we worked for back in the day. I immediately snapped a picture and later on, I sent it to K Fly.


You see, we're very nostalgic people, Keith and I, and I knew he would get a kick out of seeing a NAVL truck. What I did not know is how ridiculously awesome our ensuing text conversation would become, so dorkishly awesome that I knew from the first moment that I would have to share it with you all. Because Keith and I, we're kindred spirits. I'm the black version of him, you see, because he is the whitest black person I white, that even I, a very white white girl, is more urban than he is. Here's our conversation, verbatim.

El: (Attached photo of NAVL Van) Ahh, Memories!

K Fly: LoL! North American. It's not that bad a place; it's where we met!

El: We were like star crossed lovers of the platonic variety; they did their best to keep us           focused on work but they couldn't keep us apart!

K Fly: I can just see our movie poster. It'll look like the one for "Titanic" except there'll be a semi in the center instead of a boat!

El: I'll look waifish and forlorn holding a file folder, you'll look stoic and a little desperate trapped behind a pile of faxes. 

K Fly: Lol! What was her name, Charlene? She'll be looming over us with a devilish expression. Throwing more files and faxes at us. 

El: One of us will be seriously injured by a hardcore paper cut...probably me, I'm clumsy, and you'll cradle my head in your lap and throw your head back, crying out "this would never have happened if you had just paid us to gossip! We're not used to the hard labor of paperwork!"

K Fly: I'll have to confront Charlene in a duel to the death. And escape with you as North American is consumed in a conflagration of faxes. But sadly I'm only able to get you to safety; I'm overrun with files. Unable to escape the labrynth until they are properly filed. Cue Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" as you speed away in the yellow Geo Storm. 

El: I'll drive aimlessly for miles, sobbing "Stay with me, K Fly Dog!" and when I finally stop I reluctantly allow myself to be rescued by a tall dark and handsome stranger with lots of riches. 

K Fly: That'll set us up for the dramatic love triangle, as I dramatically escape the dreaded file cabinets. Luckily all is well since my love for you is platonic. But alas, you are still unable to be happy and in love because there is a jealous red headed making his unrequited desires known! (Gasp!)

El: He tries to woo me with mcdonald's and mix cds but in the end I cannot return his affections because I have been forever changed and all I want to do is have some fun. Preferably with Fat Albert. 

K Fly: Wow! I forgot about Fat Albert!

El: How could you, Keith? Fat Albert night was the night I fell in TRUE LOVE with the guy I thought was the love of my life until he wasn't anymore. You're dead to me. Dead I say!

K Fly: That's probably a good thing, because I'm going to have to actually do some work now. 


Oh, how I love him. This picture of us was taken by our friend Sean, who was standing on someone's car. That's why my expression is so dubious...I was sure someone was going to run outside and scream at us for standing on their car. The guy standing next to me is the guy I was once convinced I would marry. Just like best friends, I had a lot of potential husbands, apparently. Well, not a lot a lot, just a charming few. It turns out I like boys kind of a lot. My strength was always getting them to fall in love with me. Getting them to stay in love was another story, as you all know very well. I think I need to work on my long game.

And yes, before you ask, those really were the actual texts. We both hate text speak with a passion and you will never, ever catch me writing that way. I would rather stab myself in the heart with a letter opener. Okay, okay, that was pretty dramatic. But I feel strongly about writing full words and sentences with punctuation. Call me crazy.
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