I can't really focus today...lots going on.
First Mother's Day I won't have gifts from the kids, but on the upside, John did text yesterday to say he was sorry for forgetting to take them to get gifts for me. I was pretty surprised he remembered at all, to be honest, although Ava did ask him to take her shopping with plenty of time to spare. Ava's kind of worked up about not getting to go buy me my yearly Willow Tree figurine. She told my neighbor that I was going to be so sad and upset if I didn't get any gifts, which made me...sad and upset, but for different reasons. Luckily she's a champion card maker and I'll make sure to make a huge deal about that.
While I love gifts...they are most definitely one of my love languages...I would love to have a day off more than just about any gift out there right now. I am having dreams about the jacuzzis that are in the rooms in the Hard Rock hotel in Tampa, and the special special pillows they have there. A night there would be heaven, especially if my kids were not there. I would sleep for like, 18 hours. Oh well...it's a fantasy for a reason! Instead I've been neglecting the cleaning today, telling myself it's Mother's Day weekend and I should get to relax. Of course, it's all going to come back and bite me when I'm rushing around on Monday to get everything clean before the kids' visit with their dad. After I teach homeschool and before I go to the grocery store, of course.
Money is becoming an issue. I mean, it's always been an issue, but now it's blossoming into some perfect storm of issue. John's having some kind of trouble at work, and so I'm preparing for support to be an issue. Problem is even when it's not an issue it's not enough, and ends never seem to quite meet. It's what comes with taking income that was barely supporting one household and trying to support two. Kind of impossible. I'm not lazy...I'd get a job in a heartbeat except that I would be paying more for childcare than I would be making. With Seth and Evany's immune issues, we'd basically need a nanny to keep them healthy, which is way out of my budget, which is, oh, zero. I feel really helpless and powerless and like I'm just sitting around waiting for things to get worse. I need one of those awesome work at home jobs that are about as real as unicorns and rainbows and fairies. Yes, I do realize that rainbows are real, but they're rare, so it still fits.
Wow, this is an uplifting post, huh? One more negative and then I'll dig up something good, I promise. The house situation is giving me an ulcer. I made the initial enrollment payment to get into the program we qualified for, and was told not to make any more payments until we get the contract in writing. Which has never arrived. When I call the regular 800 number they say it can take up to 4 months to get enrolled, which is very different than what I was originally told. When I try to call the guy I've been working with for months now, I can't seem to get him on the phone. I've been leaving messages right and left. I'm going to throw up. It's a nightmare. I really, really hope this contract shows up soon so I can have some idea of what's going on.
We went swimming today and the kids had an awesome time. I actually got in the pool, which astounded them. Usually I'm a sit on the edge and dangle my feet kind of girl. But we had a lot of fun racing and doing flips and choking on lots of pool water. Seth is very anti pool. He sits on the steps and glares at us for even thinking he'd be into getting wet. Ava and Jace, though, love the water.
I'm not sure what the plan is for tomorrow, yet. We'll go visit with my mom and grandmother. Last year, on Mother's Day, John and I found out I was pregnant with Evany. He was at work and I told him by text message because I couldn't stand to wait until he got home. That was classy of me, I know. I wonder if his current girlfriend was working that day, too, and if he told her then. That would have been kind of funny. "Honey, I just got a text...my wife is pregnant! Isn't that cool?" Heh. I still wonder how in the world she did not cut bait when she found that out.
My brain is stuck in a car seat conundrum. If carseats bore you feel free to skip this paragrpah. It's been a while. Two kids are on the brink of a transition and I'm wracking my brain to figure out the best course of action. Seth is quickly approaching 35 pounds, the rear facing limit for his car seat. But his low tone issues make turning him forward facing a pretty terrible idea. I need to get him into a seat with a 40, or preferably 45 pound rear facing limit, since his tone isn't going to improve, at least not drastically, for a while. He needs more time. Also, Ava is currently eeeeking out the last bit of room in her car seat. It's time for her to move to a booster, and while I'm not thrilled, she's a good rider and I know she's ready. But we currently have a full van with three across in back (I watch Fisher during the week) and two rear facing babies in front. Her booster has to fit in the third row. And not be incredibly hard to buckle. I'm hoping if we transition both boys to radians in the back there will be room to buckle a booster. Fingers crossed. The other option would be to move Seth to the third row rear facing and put Ava in the second row, but then I'd basically have to load him through the back hatch and I'd make myself insane.
OK, car seat rant over. I meant for this post to be more peppy, but I guess I'm feeling more down today than I originally realized. Holidays are tough sometimes. Next year will be better. Right? It better be, seriously.
We're still good. I just have bad days sometimes when I want to go to sleep and wake up to realize that none of this had every happened and that we had money, our mortgage was paid, and I wasn't a single parent. And that I had more time to write. And got to spend less time cleaning. And that I had this cute dress I saw at Target today. And that my kids were capable of making it through a visit to Target without dropping umbrellas all over the aisles and creating an obstacle course that probably could have gotten us sued. Oh, and I would like it if someone hadn't stolen my trash can again. My amazing, big, fancy, replacement trash can. So uncool.
On the upside, though, I have very funny kids. I have friends. My friends make me laugh. Laughing is the best. There are only a few weeks left of school. That's exciting. With summer comes VBS season, and how I do love a good vacation bible school. I'm hoping to get the kids to sleep in past eight tomorrow. I have a snuggie, and that is good. A mouse crawled over my friend Mandy's leg, and that made me laugh a lot. And possibly pee my pants. Glee is back and how can anyone be sad when Glee is back? No one, that's who. Well, no one with a soul anyway.
What are your exciting plans for Mother's Day?
18 hours ago