With the youngest two sick, I have had to keep Seth home from school this week, which means my morning study time has gone out the window. Evany hasn't been sleeping at night, so there goes studying at night. I'm behind on school work and, if I'm being honest, I'd really like to take a shower, too.
Being behind on schoolwork makes me feel like I'm contemplating renting an ulcer. I feel like a pre-emptive failure. But what can you do when you've had a nearly one year old and a two year old surgically attached to you for days on end?
So I'm in a mood, and I'm tired. Which makes me moody and emotional. Which means I yell at the kids, then I cry about it, basically. To be fair, some of the yelling has been warranted. My oldest two have just been testing me like crazy lately. Evany was literally up all night last night and was on some kind of hunger strike today...her stuffy nose is making it impossible for her to drink easily. I thought she had turned the corner, but she got worse as today went on.
And yesterday (excuse the lack of continuity in this post, please), someone (I'm blaming Seth) turned the hazard lights on in my van. Which I didn't notice until it was time to take the older kids to Awana, which is basically the highlight to their week. I thought I had it under control and I tried to jump my van with Mara's van and, oh, man, I just failed at it, utterly, and all four of the kids were literally hanging out of the screen door whining and when I said that they'd have to stay home? Well, Ava literally died, according to her. The wailing and gnashing of teeth that occurred is something I really hope I never see again. It was ugly. Then Seth and Evany laid all over me in a sweaty feverish haze while I explained to Ava and Jace that I did not, in fact, sabotage the car to keep them from Awana, and that I, too, had been looking forward to their going so I could, you know, breathe for ten seconds.
They didn't buy it, really. So I sent them to bed. Normally I cannot stand daylight savings time, but last night it was a blessing in disguise. They had no idea it wasn't their bedtime yet! John came over of his own volition to check out the car, and of course he got it to start right away.
Which was so annoying I could barely thank him. I hate failing at things. He said I should learn how to do it myself (um, I gave it a pretty good try), so I treated him to a really fun diatribe about how I knew I could learn to do lots of things, and I would if I needed to, but I firmly believed that I shouldn't have to jump my car or change my own tires. Then I told him that I also felt I shouldn't have to change air filters or take out the trash myself, either.
I am apparently an anti-feminist. Or something. Anyway, it was a lovely hissy fit, and I know he really enjoyed it, too. He asked what exactly I felt I should do on my own, and I graciously offered to go shopping on my own anytime, or perhaps take one for the team and get a solo pedicure. Then he rolled his eyes at me and laughed and left me to my own questionable devices once again.
Then I think I cried because the baby woke up right after I'd lulled her to sleep.
Today was more of the same, except Jace, who was two days away from a special reward for getting eight green days in a row at school got moved to yellow. So now we have to start from scratch. I think I was more devastated than he was, and he was pretty upset. He kept asking me if I could forgive him. It was brutal. Plus today was Seth's annual review and he was not cooperative and I am incredibly nervous about the results. That kid's middle name should have been "Stubborn." I should change it, actually. He is much more a "Stubborn" than a "Broderick," plus Seth Stubborn has a little alliteration to it.
And then Evany just kept getting more miserable and I ended up stuck, knowing urgent care was probably a good idea, but also aware that she would do what every kid always does...improve immediately upon arrival to a doctor's office. So we're riding out this lovely sickness for one more night and hoping things look better in the morning. I am so over this. This is one of the first times Evany has been sick, which is an amazing blessing, but with both her and Seth sick and bringing the word clingy to a whole new level at the same time, I think I may have finally lost my mind.
Okay, she's asleep. I'm going to try to do that, too.
Let's hope the kids all miraculously recover for field day tomorrow, because if they don't, Ava is going to be the only kid there with no cheering section. Parent of the year, over here. Woot!
This would be a good time for something positive to happen in my life in general. I could use a pick me up.