Saturday, January 15, 2011

The joys of parenthood

You guys.

The past 24 hours of my life have been the dirtiest, grossest, sickliest ever. I am so over sick kids.

My kids have been sick for a few days...first Seth got sick, then Evany puked all over the car at Awana Wednesday, then the big kids followed suit. They had to stay home from school Thursday when Jace saw fit to vomit all over the living room floor several times, but I thought they were turning the corner Friday. My Mom and Grandma invited Ava and Jace over for a sleepover and since they seemed to be doing better, I let them go. I had a ton of Anatomy homework to do, so I figured it was win/win. The kids would be entertained, and I would get some work done.

That lasted about two hours.

Jace came down with pinkeye and the kids were returned post haste, since conjunctivitis is pretty contagious and we didn't want my Grandma to get sick. Things seemed like they were going okay, though. My mom came over to spend time with them in exchange for them coming home, so ethey were pretty happy. The kids were in bed and I was sitting down to do my homework when suddenly Ava woke up screaming her head off. Tears were rolling down her face and I couldn't get her to calm down. She cried like that for fifteen minutes or so and just kept saying she wanted to go to sleep. Her whole body was shaking and it was pretty obvious she needed to be seen. Of course, our urgent care had just closed, to we had to head to the ER while my mom stayed with the other kids.

I have never seen Ava like this. She cried from the time she woke up until the codeine they gave her two hours later kicked in. It turned out the flu she had morphed into a pretty intense ear infection along with bronchitis. It's the first ear infection she's ever had, and it hit her hard. I felt so terrible for her, and there was nothing I could do to help. A good friend of ours was the front desk clerk last night, and she did her best to cheer Ava up and get her back to a room quickly, but even she couldn't make a dent in the pain she was feeling.

Luckily they fixed her up relatively quickly and we were out of there by 2:00 AM. Of course, by then Ava was feeling better and wide awake, while I was holding my eyes open with toothpicks. While we waited for her prescriptions at the pharmacy she memorized about 10 verses for Awana very chirpily while I banged my head against the steering wheel and silently begged the pharmacist to hurry up and fill the prescriptions before the end of time.

We made it home just in time for Ava to wake Jace up and for my mom, who had been healthy so far, to start vomiting.

So it's basically been a laugh riot around here! Today my friend Heidi showed up with paper towels and super germ fighting cleaner for me, which was a huge blessing since we had gone through ever paper towel and cloth towel in the house. I'm feeling a lot better tonight after scrubbing the bathroom and kitchen and knowing they're on their way to being germ free. For now, of course. Until someone else throws up there. Who could be me!

Luckily Seth and Evany seem to be feeling better, although Evany did see fit to take her diaper off during nap and fingerpaint with her poop. That was really rewarding to find when I walked into her room. I got her all cleaned up, or so I thought, and took her out to the van so we could run an errand, and suddenly, in the natural light, I could see that I had missed entire continents of poop on her face and hands.

Why do kids do that? Seriously. It's gross, smelly, and there is no payoff for playing in your own feces. Now someday I'm going to have to tell this story to a boyfriend and she'll be so angry at me, and I'll just say "Well, honey, I guess you shouldn't have smeared your own poop all over your face and forced me to deep clean with the steam mop before any of us could stand be around you without puking. You should have thought about the repercussions of your actions."

Or something like that.

Anyway, I have had my fill of vomit and poop and pretty much all bodily fluids, and it would be great if my kids would avoid passing this around like the plague for all eternity.

Of course, I'm not holding my breath.
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