Saturday, January 17, 2009

Oh headaches and heartaches and leg aches, oh my!

First order of business: Thanks to everyone who has donated and ordered bracelets/wristbands! (If you can't tell, I am having a hard time committing to a title. Committing always was an issue of mine. They are being packed up and sent out tomorrow, so get ready to sport yours! If you guys take pictures of yourselves wearing Seth's bracelets, I'll put them in his baby book, and one day when he's a little more cognitively aware, he'll thank you.


Seriously, though, it has been a huge blessing to us that you all care about our baby boy and are helping to give him the chance to hear! As I was reading the notes in some of the donations, I was just bawling like a baby. It's a very special thing to feel so blessed after the past couple of years we've had.


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I've got a bad headache today and I was experiencing some shooting pains in my neck/ear/back of my head area. I get migraines all the time, so it's not a huge thing, but the kids and I decided to stick close to home today. John is off working all day long, and so I am on my own. I am also lazy, so it will not surprise you that I ordered pizza for lunch because I couldn't be bothered. I figured the kids could even eat it for two meals, if I supplemented with fruit and things like that.



Or not. I ate two pieces, and the kids ate the ENTIRE pizza. Now I have to think of something to make for dinner. The best laid plans...



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I am trying to get Seth's room organized today as he has a very fancy and special photoshoot Monday morning. A friend (and awesome photographer) from church offered to do photos of Seth for the fundraiser, and she likes to shoot where he'd be the most comfortable. I told her that he's only 6 months old and I think he'd be really comfortable posing in a nicer house than ours, and then passing it off like it really is our house, considering he's never actually slept in his own bedroom, but we're doing it here anyway. The best laid plans...
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Seth had some testing done yesterday that necessitated him being sedated. They described the medicine as super strong benadryl, and said that he'd be groggy for a few hours after the procedure.


HAH
!



When they said "Groggy" I'm sure it was some special kind of nurse short hand for "your baby will go insane and sleep hard, wake up screaming, be inconsolable, then fall asleep again, as long as you never ever put him down. This cycle will repeat itself all day long. Then, when you finally fall asleep at midnight, he will wake up and demand to eat, even though he just finished eating. He will wake up about 20 more times in the night to eat, even though he has been sleeping through the night consistently for 3 months."



Yeah. I'm sure that's what they meant. For future reference, this sucks. I was praying a good carrier would appear on my doorstep in the midst of my 12 hour baby holding session yesterday, but it didn't happen, so I had to break down and beg a sweet mama on the FSOT board on the Baby Wearer to sell me hers and send it asap, even though she had already agreed to trade with someone else. I was desperate. Seth has gotten too heavy to be comfortably carried for long periods in a sling, and I hate my Bjorn with a passion. Seth has a surgery coming up in less than two weeks and if the sedation effects are at all similar, I will be praising God for the pretty Beco that Seth will be living in.


BTW, Thanks Melissa! Can't wait for my Beco!

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January is drawing to a close...(ok, not really, but I count in a weird way that means a month is basically over as soon as it begins). Before we know it, it will be February. That means it's basically March. Eli's second birthday is coming up and I can't seem to stop it from sneaking up on me all the time. I made some mention of his birthday the other day, and Ava said "Which birthday will it be?" I told her it will bs his second birthday, and her jaw just dropped.



"You mean Eli is ONE right now?" She exclaimed. "No one told me that! One is big! Just think of all the things he is doing!"


She was just so excited to realize that he has grown into a one year old, and she proceeded to tell me all the things that one year olds can do. They can walk, and play, and eat food. Most importantly, according to her, they can hug you and kiss you, and some one year olds can even say "I love you."



Seeing it through her eyes has made me realize it all over again, even though I thought I was hyper aware of his absence. I have missed so many milestones. First smile, first hug, first kiss, first word, even the first tantrum. He would be old enough now to climb into my lap and tell me he loves me. I would have a baby calling me "Mama" and not "Mom!" Some days, I wonder if I'll ever hear another baby call me Mama. When they told me Seth was deaf, that was one of my first thoughts, that I would never hear him call out to me and say my name.



I just miss my almost two year old with all of my might, and while I know that God is working in us, refining us every day, that Eli and Seth are being used by God to make us into people who can be Christ to others, and even more importantly bring Christ to others, it still doesn't mean that it doesn't really suck sometimes.

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Also, my leg still aches! What causes that? It can't be growing pains. I'm 26 years old. I hope I'm done growing. I'm tall enough already!

2 comments:

momof2greatboys said...

Hi! I totally understand about carring the baby thing. I make a wrap that is just like a MOBY wrap and would be happy to send you one! A friend blessed me with one and now I love to give them to moms who need it. Look them up on the internet and let me know if you would be interested. Wendy

Midwest Mommy said...

I had to look up what a Beco was...what a great carrier! I had the bjorn and I hated it. It hurt my back so much. That one looks awesome and I love the fact that you can carrier them on your back too.
Thanks!

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