Saturday, January 17, 2009

Time flies when you're having fun!

Six months ago today, at this very moment, I was laying in the hospital with my mom, John, and Ava, and two of my best friends, watching So You Think You Can Dance. I was in a ton of pain due to a non-working epidural and convinced that I was going to be 5 centimeters dialated for the rest of my life.

Little did I know, just over one hour later, at 10:35 PM, this baby boy would decide to grace us with his presence after only two pushes. He took his own sweet time to cry, and I can remember all of us, every person in the room waiting with bated breath, as Seth finally cried out. I think it may be the best sound I've ever heard.

That one cry set us all laughing and crying and I started to believe for the first time that I might be getting to bring a baby home. Of course, things took a turn for the worse very quickly, and my baby faced issue after issue.

That time in the NICU feels like it was both yesterday and a lifetime ago, and Seth has had plenty of issues even since he got to come home. We don't seem to go a week without something happening. But God has been there every step of the way, picking us up when we couldn't make it another step, strengthening us beyond our normal limits, giving us patience and perseverence to deal with Seth's many specialists and diagnoses. God has specially equipped us to parent this very special baby. It has been an awesome blessing to watch him grow...from that from critically ill preemie into this beautiful boy.

This has been the best 6 months of my life. Seeing Ava and Jace grow into thoughtful, kind siblings, seeing Seth grow healthier each day, finally having this baby come after his brothers death and begin to heal all of our old hurts. We will never stop missing Eli, we will love him right up until we see him again, but we can't tangibly love on him...we appreciate now how amazing it is to be able to love your baby, to kiss them each morning and night and every moment in between.

With Seth, we have learned what it is to feel blessed. Not that we weren't blessed before, because we were, by our finding one another and by Ava and Jace and Eli...but before loss, you don't feel as blessed by the good times...even though we shouldn't, we kind of expect things to go well. We were self centered and always thought "That will never happen to us." Well, things have happened to us now. Things don't always go the way we want and, it seems even more amazing when they do go right.

And man, have they ever gone right with our sweet baby boy, and to God be the glory! I know that even more awesome things are in store for Seth in the next 6 months!


Julie said...

What wonderful pics! How can you look so pretty while in labor?! Let's not compare pics. LOL!

Happy 6 months Seth. Geez El...can he GET any cuter?! He is SO SO adorable!

Kameron said...

It is hard to not take any moment for granted, until you experience something like you have. I am brought back to center every time I read the inspiring stories of my bloggy friends. Thank you for being sharing such a positive perspective of your story!

Shanda said...

You are the poster woman for how to look good while delivering a baby!! I look so incredibly exhausted in my pics!

Seth is absolutely adorable!

Mommy3 said...

I love those blue eyes Seth has! And thank you for sharing your story with us and Eli's story. I always have you in the back of my mind somewhere reminding me to not take my children for granted and that I am very blessed even on the hard days ever since I started reading your blog. Thank you for that. I know it wasn't a mistake that I happened upon your blog.

Elyse said...

Seth is so adorable! Happy 6 months Seth! He has blessed this world for the first six months of his precious life and I look foward to what is in store for him now :)

Amanda said...

He's adorable!! Happy 6 months!

Amanda said...


Thank you as always for sharing. This post gives me hope that maybe our wounds will begin to heal with time. It is still a struggle because they are so fresh. Loss does teach you that you cannot take one single moment for granted. Each time you kiss, hug, or just eat breakfast with your child is such a blessing.


Forever missing Gavin

Les said...

Beautiful pics. I was thinking- OMG I also LUV 'So you Think you can Dance'!

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