Wednesday, October 7, 2009

25 weeks!


Wow, 25 weeks! Time is flying, huh? Even though it's only Wednesday, I have had a doozy of a week already. Basically what that means is that I spent the majority of yesterday sobbing/weeping/wailing/rending my clothes in agony in my van. It was a million little things and it all added up to a bit of a nervous breakdown for me.

It started with a stupid overdraft at the bank because I didn't realize my car payment wouldn't show up as a pending payment and I paid for my P17 shots with my debit card after checking the balance and seeing that I had plenty in there to cover these stupid, expensive, not covered by insurance shots. Turns out I didn't have plenty, though, and the bank was decidedly unsympathetic, so...good start to the morning. I cried about that on the way to the OB's office, and had to put make up on in the van to make it look like I hadn't been crying, but of course, it just made me look weirder.

Then, I got my feelings hurt because of some stuff that may result inadvertently (and accidentally, really no one's fault) in my being alone in the delivery room (so I cried), and then got the wonderful news at the OB that it's time to go on insulin. I had really, really been hoping to avoid insulin this time, and even more than that, avoid visiting the dietitian who is always vaguely disapproving no matter what I tell her I eat. Oh, and also? I weigh 120 so he thinks if I go on insulin I'll be able to eat more and still keep my blood sugars under control, and therefore gain more weight. Downside is that being insulin dependent adds another stupid risk factor to this pregnancy. So I cried about that (in the van on the way to another appointment, then had to redo my makeup completely).

Then I found out that something really great that I thought was going to make a difference in my circumstances/finances wasn't going to happen, so I cried some more (on the way to pick up the boys, of course, in the van). Then I had to stop by Ava's field trip and I thought I looked fine but judging by the look on the other mom's faces, not so much.

So Tuesday was definitely a ticked day. I should have posted another ticked post! Darn it, missed opportunity.

The upsides, though, to 25 weeks are....Baby girl is measuring almost 2 pounds...that's a great weight for her gestational age. She's also still a girl, so...score. (Yes, I will be nervous about this until she is born). Three more weeks and we're out of the woods for the most major preemie issues, and the way things are going, that will be here like, tomorrow. My clothes all still fit (yes, I know I said that last week. But they still still fit, so it's worth saying again). I got my favorite nurse for my shot this week, which is a major bonus...the person giving the shot can make a huge difference in how much it hurts, I guess depending on how they give the shot. She rocks.

Anyway, it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and I'm really hoping that all the bad stuff for the week was thrown into one day. Fingers crossed, knock on wood, etc. etc. etc.

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