Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The one where you all see that I didn't learn to speak English until after high school.

Ahh, my JELKS. We had a choreographed dance to the Destiny's Child song "I don't Want No Scrubs." It involved this cool vogue-ing around the face movement and a lot of finger shaking. It was kind of outrageously awesome, if I do say so myself. We TP'd the houses of boys we liked because that's what you do, right? Kind of like how when boys are mean to you it means they like you.

We also, apparently, did not speak very good English and thought we were just a little ghetto. Or maybe that was just me. But I don't think so.

JELK. No S. With an extra L on the left. =)

Since the first installment of the JELKS soap opera, not a whole lot has happened. Jenn got offended that I called her a clown in the first letter, and it took about two days to get it cleared up, because we specialized in talking in circles. We continued to stress out about yellow tanks and overalls. We discussed finding a "man" for the S in our group, Sarah. She wasn't that thrilled with our proposed matchmaking. There was drama over Kara beginning to date someone we all really, really weren't fans of.

Then I wrote this gem of a letter.


Aaron and Kara                                                                                                               Sitting in a Tree                                                                                                                   !K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
12:14 AL
 K-Dawg (Ghetto nickname...check!)
Well, no one can man the balls like me! (No clue what that meant, but I guarantee you it wasn't what it sounds like). What up, yo? Don't have a lot of time - just wanted to let you know again that I'm cool with you and Aaron, (That was a lie.) and Jeremy thinks he's been cool lately...so that means double/triple dates could be fun...yay! Now almost everyone has a sigfig...(significant figure/other) (If you make up a term and have to explain it, it's probably not going to catch on.)  you, me, Linds, Jenn...now Sarah just need to get herself some fresh blood! Woohoo. That would be fun...Holland. Linds and Jim take the dome, J & I sit in the car...you and Aaron can play on the cheese! (Again, not as bad as it sounds. We were what you could call VERY innocent 12th graders. And I was referring to a playground, which is why I mention a dome and cheese...climbing equipment.) Princesses don't get Crumpets! (And it looks like I may have a strange case of something like Tourette's, throwing random phrases in everywhere. It gets worse.)
We're watching this video in 60's class and it just said "Girls who park in cars are not really popular, even to the boys who park with them." It also said "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT HAVING SEX." (It was a sex ed video from the 1960's. I was in a class that was literally all about that decade.)
Hey yo, when is the band banquet? To be a rebel you must have a ducktail and highwater jeans. I wanna be a beatnick, yo. (More random outbursts) Oh my gosh - Aimee S. just told me she ran into this guy I dated in middle school several times (dated several times=talked on the phone for a few weeks and went to exactly one movie.) and that he's hot and remembered me...lol! He went to Jefferson and I met him through Dawn...He was the first boy I kissed. (kissed=get surprised by a very gross, sloppy attempt at a kiss while attending a scary movie, freak out, and break up with "boyfriend" immediately and never speak to him again) Funny how you keep meeting up with the same people over and over. I almost forgot about all of this stuff and now I am remembering all kinds of stuff!
Well I better go
Love ya dnq
PS- Oh yeah! I saw Annoying Boy (JON) in the hall yesterday, and he was wearing a tech vest with NO SHIRT! He's icky. (The whole point of code names is NOT TO USE THEIR REAL NAMES. Seriously. Get with the program. That said, wearing a vest with no shirt underneath is pretty icky.)

Seriously. Seriously? I cannot believe I wrote this crap. And I really can't believe that it was not at all ironic but direly, heavily earnest instead. It's also surprising that I filled up a page with writing all about nothing, basically. Although, I guess I do that here fairly regularly, too. =)

Just wait, though. We all get dumped by our boyfriends or dump or boyfriends soon. Then our emotions and hormones all join together into a huge scary melodramatic giant and stomp all over the place. It's great.

I loved all of your stories about your own notebooks and funny notes from high school. Tell me more!
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